Mr. Skin’s DVD Pick of the Week
The Shield: The Complete Series
NUDE: Paula Garcs (body doublebreasts, butt), Michele Hicks (breasts), Aisha Hinds (breasts, butt), Natalie Amenula (butt), Donielle Artese (butt), Rina Fernandez (breasts, butt), Jenya Lano (breasts, butt), Marguerite MacIntyre (breasts), Nicki Micheaux (breasts, butt), Ellis Perry (butt), Susan Santiago (breasts, butt), Tamlyn Tomita (breasts, butt), Gina Torres (butt)
Bad cops make good TV. That’s certainly the case in the excellent F/X series The Shield. It stars Michael Chiklis, who has come a long way from playing John Belushi in Wired (1989) and portraying a cop on the hit TV drama The Commish. He plays the crooked detective who leads a team of criminal peace officers who are more interested in getting a piece of the pie, whether that’s money or honey. And they get a lot of both. Thanks to the series being produced on a cable network, there’s also ample nudity, though it’s usually hard to see with the fast edits. Still, the mean streets of Los Angeles are filled with heavenly angels who can’t wait to spread their wings for the bad boys of the LAPD.
All About My Mother (1999)
NUDE: Candela Pea (breasts), Antonia San Juan (breasts, bush, butt)
The 13th film of Spanish auteur Pedro Almodvar, the skin-semble drama All About My Mother (1999) features transsexual hookers, a pregnant nun, a pair of lesbians, and some brief nudity courtesy of Antonia San Juan and Candela Pea. An homage to the work of Tennessee Williams, the movie focuses on Manuela (Cecilia Roth), a nurse and single mother in her late thirties. Manuela's teenage son, Esteban (Eloy Azorin), is killed by a car when he runs into the street to get an actress’s autograph, leading her to find his father, who has undergone a sex-change operation and become a prostitute. But despite the tragedy, All About My Mother is all about the mammaries when Antonia San Juan gets her clothes ripped off in the street.
Battlestar Galactica: The Plan (2009)
NUDE: Lymari Nadal (breasts, butt)
A feature-length spinoff of the popular science fiction series, Battlestar Galactica: The Plan (2009) stars stellar babes Tricia Helfer and Grace Park along with Edward James Olmos, Kate Vernon, and Dean Stockwell. The plot revolves around a scheme hatched by two leaders of the evil alien race called the Cylons to destroy the human race once and for all. Along the way, Tricia strips down to bra and panties, and Lymari Nadal shows off her chest rockets and rear thrusters having space sex. Out of this world!
Blood Night (2009)
STUDIO: Chaos Squared
NUDE: Samantha Facchi (FFN, butt), Samantha Jacobs (breasts), Tara Rondeau (breasts, butt)
Horror regulars Danielle Harris and Bill Moseley head up the cast in the slasher movie Blood Night (2009). After murdering her parents with an axe, Mary Hatchet (Samantha Facchi) was sent to an insane asylum where a guard raped her and got her pregnant. Mary broke out one night and was killed by the police, but not before giving birth to a stillborn daughter. Now a group of teens is partying on the anniversary of her death and the bodies are beginning to pile up. In the grand tradition of the classic teenager horror movie, there’s plenty of skin here, with full nudity from Samantha Facchi, TA from Tara Rondeau, and great topless shots of Samantha Jacobs. Blood Night is a good night.
The Clint Eastwood Star Collection: For a Few Dollars More (1965)
NUDE: Rosemary Dexter (breasts)
In the Sergio Leone classic For a Few Dollars More (1965), a vigilante and bounty hunter (Clint Eastwood and Lee Van Cleef) team up to track down the murderous El Indio (Gian Maria Volonte). But, as we all know, you can't have a good spaghetti western without some meatballs, and here we have a couple of real spicy ones planted on the chest of Rosemary Dexter, whose nightie gets ripped off in a scene that goes by faster than a gunfighter can draw his pistol. Thankfully for a few dollars more (per month) you can watch this scene at Mr. Skin.com, where we have the technology to slow down the action and give you time to unholster your own six-shooter. Saddle up, bareback cowboys!
Forrest Gump (1994)
NUDE: Dant McCarthy (breasts), Robin Wright Penn (breasts)
“Life is a like a box of chocolates,” declares the mentally challenged title character immortalized by Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump (1994). “You never know what you’re gonna get.” What Forrest gets in his life is a comically impossible array of encounters with historic figures that include Elvis, JFK, John Lennon, and Richard Nixon. He also fights in the Vietnam War, becomes the world ping-pong champion, and makes a fortune in the shrimp business. All along, though, he can never rescue the wounded heart of his childhood sweetie Jenny (Robin Wright Penn). Fortunately he gets to see her singing folk music semi-nude. We do too.
The Howl (1970)
STUDIO: Cult Epics
NUDE: Tina Aumont (breasts, bush)
Not beat poet Allen Ginsberg, but Italian erotica maestro Tinto Brass is behind The Howl (1970). The movie follows heroine Tina Aumont as she is gang raped by the police after a student demonstration, leaves her husband-to-be (Nino Segurini) at the altar, and runs off with a stranger (Luigi Proietti). Amidst all the surrealism, violence, and social commentary Tina also bares her boobs, butt, and bush repeatedly. That will give you something to howl about!
I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009)Blu-Ray
NUDE: Lauren London (butt)
Class valedictorian Denis Cooverman (Paul Rust) finally gets the nerve to speak his mind and declare his love for Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere), the hottest girl in school, during his graduation speech in the teen comedy I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009). So begins a night of life-changing escapades in which Denis and Beth learn more than they expected about themselves and each other. We also get to see some digitally censored side-boob from Ms. Panettiere. Hey Hayden, be a hero and show us your Beth Pooper!
The Jack Lemmon Star Collection: Avanti! (1973)
NUDE: Giselda Castrini (breasts), Juliet Mills (breasts, butt)
Avanti! (1973) is the tail end of a series of screwball comedies from director Billy Wilder and star Jack Lemmon. Unlike the earlier flicks of the '50s and '60s, this one goes randy one further by adding skin. Lemmon is a stiff American businessman who is in Italy to claim the body of his dead dad, who passed on while making whoopee with his mistress. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and the stiff businessman gets a stiffie for the mistress's daughter (Juliet Mills). And it's no wonder, with Juliet showing off her impressive rack and tush in several steamy scenes. There's also some brief topless time from Giselda Castrini. This Italian job gets you off and leaves a smile on your face.
The Jodie Foster Star Collection: The Hotel New Hampshire (1984)
NUDE: Nastassja Kinski (breasts)
Based on the novel by John Irving, the comedic drama The Hotel New Hampshire (1984) features Rob Lowe, Jodie Foster, Nastassja Kinski, and Joely Richardson in the story of an eccentric New England family that establishes new hotels in locale after locale. Nastassja keeps her hotness covered under an ursine suit for most of the movie, but Rob finally removes it and Nasty goes from bear girl to bare boobs.
Love Actually (2003)Blu-Ray
NUDE: Laura Linney (breasts), Joanna Page (breasts, butt)
Christmas films and romantic comedies are traditionally the bane of the heterosexual male, especially when such pictures are of English origin, but Love Actually (2003) dares to combine all three deadly strains and comes up with a lively celebration of chance, happenstance, and aging gay pop stars who ultimately don’t give a hoot if the entire universe knows that they are raging poofs. The hijinks and sly winks extend all the way up to the highest offices of government, when the bachelor Prime Minister himself falls under the erotic sway of a lowly tea girl. Tears of laughter will mix with tears of poignancy in this slick but soulful heart tugger that is destined to live forever in date-movie posterity.
NUDE: Eva Cobo (FFN), Assumpta Serna (FFN)
Pedro Almodvar's Matador (1986) stars Nacho Martinez as a nutty ex-matador who still lives his life like he's in the ring. Even though he's stopped bullfighting, he can't quite stop killingbut in the light of day he still has to get paid, so he's resorted to humdrum non-psycho activities like teaching aspiring matadors how it's done. One of these students is Antonio Banderas, an avid idolizer of Nacho who has no idea that he's no longer up to snuff . . . or that he's actually making snuff films in his spare time! Antonio tries to prove his machismo to Nacho by attcking Nacho's lady, Eva Cobo. When that fails, he up and confesses to a slew of slayings he didn't do. Those kinds of things are more Nacho's thing. Antonio lands lawyer Assumpta Serna, who has a few sadistic twists of her own (and a tip-top topless scene that will make you horny as a bull).
The Michelle Pfeiffer Star Collection: The Fabulous Baker Boys (1989)
NUDE: Terri Treas (breasts)
Jeff Bridges and Beau Bridges star as pianist brothers looking to jazz up their lounge act in The Fabulous Baker Boys (1989). They end up jazzing up a lot more when they hire bad girl Michelle Pfeiffer as their sultry new vocalist. Their subsequent success leads to dramatic developments, but guys will be too distracted by what’s developing in their trousers. The credit doesn’t all go to Pfeiffer’s fine form, either. Jennifer Tilly shows up as a proper bombshell, and Terri Treas is pretty fabulous as she strips down for the opening credits.
The Michelle Pfeiffer Star Collection: Married to the Mob (1988)
NUDE: Nancy Travis (breasts, bush, butt)
The crime comedy Married to the Mob (1988) stars Michelle Pfeiffer as Angela de Marco, a mafia widow who is caught in a love triangle with undercover FBI agent Mike Downey (Matthew Modine) and crime boss Tony Russo (Dean Stockwell). Michelle keeps her guns covered, but we do get to see the bare boobs and butt of gangster’s moll Nancy Travis as she smokes in bed. Careful Nancy, you’re liable to start a fire.
The Mickey Rourke Star Collection: Desperate Hours (1990)
NUDE: Kelly Lynch (breasts)
Psychotic criminal mastermind Michael Bosworth (Mickey Rourke) seduces his lawyer (Kelly Lynch), manipulates her into helping him escape before his trial, and hides out at the home of a suburban family headed up by estranged couple Tim and Nora Cornell (Anthony Hopkins and Mimi Rogers), whom he takes hostage, in the crime thriller Desperate Hours (1990). If you’re desperate for towers, check out Kelly’s jellies as she gets a wire taped to her chest. You’ll want to pinch some Lynch.
The Mickey Rourke Star Collection: Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991)
NUDE: Chelsea Field (breasts, butt), Mitzi Martin (breasts, butt), Bobbie Tyler (breasts)
Mixing movie genres can be like adding fire to gasoline, which accounts for the explosive appeal of Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991). Scowling macho man Mickey Rourke, as a bad-ass biker, and smirking lady killer Don Johnson, as a rough-and-ready rodeo rider, are spontaneously combustible when put in combination as a pair of friends who must rob a bank in order to help refinance an old friend’s roadhouse. One of the greatest things about Rourke and Johnson is their ability to attract hot, short-fused women who tend toward high flammability. Strike a match and go up in smoke with Mitzi Martin, Chelsea Field, and Bobbie Tyler.
Night Watcher (2008)
STUDIO: Lions Gate
NUDE: Jillian Toby (breasts)
After her mother commits suicide, Angela (Allison Tyler) begins receiving videotapes in the mail taken by someone who had been stalking her mother in her last days in the direct-to-DVD horror thriller Night Watcher (2008). Now Angela begins to suspect that her mother, along with a number of other local suicides, was murdered by a serial killer who could be anyone, including her new friend Brian (Zack Stewart). If you’re a breast watcher, then don’t miss blonde babe Jillian Toby’s topless scene in the shower. Nice two B's, Tobey.
The Robert Downey Jr. Star Collection: Back to School (1986)
NUDE: Leslie Huntly (breasts)
The uproarious box-office smash Back to School (1986) holds the distinction of being a teen sex comedy whose star is a sixty-five-year-old man. Rodney Dangerfield plays a successful but self-made businessman who decides to get his college degree at the same college as his nerdy son. Nerds learn to party, partiers learn to study, and all the high points of a college comedy are hit. Oingo Boingo, Sam Kinison, and Kurt Vonnegut all make guest appearances. But as everyone knows, the best appearances are breast appearances, and Leslie Huntly bares hers in a shower scene interrupted by Rodney.
The Nicolas Cage Star Collection: Valley Girl (1983)
NUDE: Elizabeth Daily (breasts), Michelle Meyrink (breasts), Tina Theberge (breasts)
Mythical creatures have long been the subject of great movies, and no fabled being is more cinematically compelling than the illusory namesake of Valley Girl (1983). According to legend and anecdotal evidence, the typical post-adolescent female native to Los Angeles’s San Fernando Valley is status conscious, consumer driven, a trifle snotty, intellectually fallow, possessed of a personal style that would be at home on most stops along the New Jersey Turnpike, and sex obsessed, which makes up for all the rest. Valley Girl is a quintessential 1980s teen sex comedy that captures the chicks from Sherman Oaks, Van Nuys, and Tarzana cruising their natural habitat in all their bra-popping, bikini-stuffing, shower-taking glory.
The Nicolas Cage Star Collection: Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
NUDE: Elisabeth Shue (breasts)
Leaving Las Vegas (1995) is a suicide note doused in booze and boobs. In other words, not such a bad way to go. Nicolas Cage plays a loser who lost his wife and job, so he travels to Sin City to drink himself to death. But then he meets the hooker who gives him a golden hard-on, played by Elisabeth Shue. If the Shue fits, fuck it, and Cage does. He gets his martini shaken and stirred! Even when Elisabeth is violated and licking her wounds naked in the shower stall, it's still pretty hot. Yes, Cage still dies in the end. But who would want to leave this lust Vegas?
Stan Helsing (2009)
STUDIO: Anchor Bay
NUDE: Holly Eglington (breasts)
The monster comedy Stan Helsing (2009) stars Steve Howey as a video clerk who is out on Halloween night with ex-girlfriend Nadine (Diora Baird), best pal Teddy (Kenan Thompson), and an exotic dancer/massage therapist named Mia (Desi Lydic). The foursome arrives at Stormy Night Estates to drop off some videos and discovers that it is inhabited by Nightmare on Elm Street’s Freddy Krueger, Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees, Hellraiser villain Pinhead, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Child Play’s killer doll Chucky, and Michael Myers from the Halloween movies. While Stan faces the monsters, we get to see Holly Eglington's bare boobs and some steamy lesbian makeouts. That's scary hot.
The Susan Sarandon Star Collection: Thelma Louise (1991)
NUDE: Geena Davis (butt)
Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon crush balls in Thelma Louise (1991). The two play women in dead-end jobs and marriages who decide to go on a freewheeling road trip that ends up with them killing a guy. This girl buddy flick then shifts into high gear with the police in hot pursuit of their hot bodies. They blow up an obnoxious trucker's 18-wheeler and take a one-way trip off a cliff in the famous freeze-frame ending. But along the way they get as close as two sexy ladies can without swapping spit. Maybe there'll be a sequel in heaven when the two angels finally get to spread their pink wings and consummate their carnal relationship.
The Susan Sarandon Star Collection: The January Man (1989)
NUDE: Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (breasts), Katherine E. Miller (breasts)
Kevin Kline is eccentric former NYC cop Nick Starkey, brought back on the force by the mayor (Rod Steiger) and the top brass (Harvey Keitel, Rod Steiger, and Danny Aiello) to catch an elusive serial killer that strikes once a month, in the slapstick crime comedy The January Man (1989). Co-stars Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Katherine E. Miller both bare boobs, making this one very nippy January, man!
The Susan Sarandon Star Collection: Igby Goes Down (2002)
NUDE: Amanda Peet (breasts, butt)
Breast-bomb Susan Sarandon plays Mommy Despisest in Igby Goes Down (2002), and as the film opens she's being suffocated by her two preppy sons with a plastic bag over her pretty face. The Igby of the title is one of the messed-up boys, who gets expelled from school and ends up hanging out with a juggy junkie (Amanda Peet) in a New York City loft. He and his emotionless brother share the charms of Claire Danes, who gets nasty, if not naked. When Igby Goes Down you'll like what he finds.
Two Girls and a Guy (1997)Blu-Ray
NUDE: Heather Graham (butt)
The two girls and a guy of Two Girls and a Guy (1998) are played, respectively, by Heather Graham, Natasha Gregson Wagner, and Robert Downey Jr. As Heather and Natasha wait for their boyfriends to arrive home, they get to talking and discover that, in fact, there is just one boyfriendthey're both dating the same cad! Enter Robert as the lucky lout, and watch out as the fireworks ignite. A hoped-for threesome never goes down, but the sexual chemistry of the leads at their most erotically unbridled makes for an unforgettable comedy rife with profound moments and some of the wildest dirty talk you'll ever scorch your ears with.
Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut (2009)Blu-Ray
STUDIO: Warner Bros.
NUDE: Malin Akerman (breasts, butt), Tara Frederick (breasts)
Based on the acclaimed graphic novel of the same name, the big-budget blockbuster Watchmen (2009) tells the story of conflicted superheroes, including sexy Silk Spectre II (Malin Akerman), godlike Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup), misanthropic Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley), the libertine and mercenary Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), and mild-mannered Nite Owl II (Patrick Wilson). When a mysterious someone begins murdering their fellow costumed crime fighters, they begin to uncover a shocking conspiracy. Malin Akerman gets naked three times, baring both boobs and butt, and that’s something to watch, men!
Wings of Desire (1987)Blu-Ray
NUDE: Solveig Dommartin (left breast)
Considered a masterpiece by many film critics, Wim Wenders’s Wings of Desire (1987) stars Bruno Ganz as Daniel, an angel who decides to give up his immortality and become human after he falls in love with a mortal woman (Solveig Dommartin). The film also features Peter Falk and Nick Cave as themselves and a brief shot of Solveig’s side-boob as she changes clothes and the film changes from black and white to color. Nice halos!
The Winona Ryder Star Collection: Autumn in New York (2000)
NUDE: Winona Ryder (right breast)
With a title like Autumn in New York (2000), expect some death and rebirth. The death comes from terminally ill and totally hot Winona Ryder, who plays a dying young thing who falls for the older Richard Gere. Gere is a womanizing sod, but his beautiful affair with Winona reforms this Casanova. The May-December romance is hot as summer in New York thanks to Winona, who provides the first skin of her career. It may only be an unintentional slip of the nipple from beneath a loose lace nightie while she's in bed, but considering she didn't let any more flesh fill the screen until Sex and Death 101 (2007), Winnie's skinny is worth a look.
The Winona Ryder Star Collection: 1969 (1988)
NUDE: Kara Zielke (FFN, butt)
Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland play Ralph and Scott, a pair of best friends and college roommates who leave their small town after Scott’s brother enlists in the army and goes to Vietnam in the counterculture flashback flick 1969 (1988). Ralph's sister Beth (Winona Ryder) protests the war in the valedictory speech at her high-school graduation, and Ralph goes to jail for breaking into the draft office before they learn that Scott’s brother has died in combat. Natural blonde Kara Zielke shows boobs, butt, and bush as a free and easy flower child at a hippie nudist camp. You’ll want to 1969 her.