Love Actually (2003)

Yule stuff your stocking while watching Richard Curtis’s holiday classic Love Actually (2003). The all-star romantic dramedy features Academy Award winners (Emma Thompson, Colin Firth), funny fellows (Bill Nighy, Rowan Atkinson), leading men (Chiwetel Ejiofor, Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson), and a host of the most ho, ho, ho, hottest women (Claudia Schiffer, Denise Richards, Elisha Cuthbert, Heike Makatsch, Ivana Miličević, January Jones, Lúcia Moniz, Martine McCutcheon, Shannon Elizabeth). Even though the anthology film is known for the iconic card-flashing exchange between Keira Knightley and Andrew Lincoln, we think Laura Linney’s bare breasts were the movie’s real scene stealers! Perhaps that’s why the film was nominated for two Golden Globe Awards! Of course, Mr. Skin is most interested in the story about two nude movie stand-ins. As John (Martin Freeman) and Judy (Joanna Page) professionally pose for the lighting crew, we get to witness their union bloom — as well as look at Ms. Page’s bare boobs! If that’s not titillating enough, the naked babe also exposes her butt crack as she rides her co-star in the sack. In fact, these two can be seen feigning various tantric positions in several pseudo sex scenes. In one, Jo gives John a faux blow job. In another, she’s bent over so Mr. Freeman can fondle her perfectly perky pink-tipped pokers. Merry Christmas, indeed! As the couple pretends to copulate for a skin flick within the flick, they put the X into X-mas! Suffice it to say, Love Actually should actually be renamed to Lust Actually!