Bilitis (1977)

Patti D’Arbanville is one of America’s most interesting muses. In the late 1960s, she was a model in London where she won the heart (and hard-on) of Cat Stevens. As such, the singer/songwriter penned the hit song “Lady D’Arbanville” (1970) after their breakup. Around this time, Patti became part of Andy Warhol’s Factory in Paris and New York City. Before coupling up with Don Johnson during the 1980s, she carved out an acting career in the ’70s — appearing in the rom-com The Main Event (1979) with Barbra Streisand and the sci-fi flick Time After Time (1979) with Mary Steenburgen. Of course, Mr. Skin favors Patti’s pervformance in the erotic drama Bilitis (1977). The R-rated pic updates “Les Chansons de Bilitis” (1894), a collection of Grecian-set, lesbian-themed poems by Pierre Louÿs, by centering the story around a student at a French boarding school. As the titular character, a youthful Patti must grapple with complex issues of power, Sapphic action, and the confusion of adolescence. In other words, it’s a coming of age tale that’ll make you come whenever Mademoiselle D’Arbanville exposes her D’Breasticles and D’Bum. And fortunately for us, that’s a lot! In one scene, the skintastic actress peels off her bathing suit to show off her nubile a pair of nubbins. In another, she scrubs up her bare boobettes, bush and booty. Ooh la la! If that’s not arousing enough, Bilitis (D’Arbanville) peeps on Melissa (Mona Kristensen) who is stripping, and mimics her every move until both are topless. Merci beaucoup!