Our Staff Picks column takes you back to a time when video stores reigned supreme and the "Staff Picks" section was the place to find out what films were worthy of one's time. Of course, our version of Staff Picks has a decidedly skintillating angle, as we suss out which films from a particular subgenre are the best to find great nudity. This week let's cover one of the absolute BEST years in moviemaking: nude in the desert.
This idea came to me when I was reading about the director and crew of Dune speaking frankly about the struggles of filming on location in the desert. That got me thinking about all of the desert films we've seen over the years - many of which have been filmed on location - and all of the beautiful nude women who take off their clothes in the dry heat. That'll make anyone wet!
Here are the hottest films that take place in the desert:
Ishtar
Elaine May's Ishtar was so panned that she never directed again and that is a shame because it's pretty funny. May joked that if all of the people who hated the movie had actually seen it, then she would be rich. I think that's fairly accurate! The film is getting appreciation now and if you need convincing then let me help you: Isabelle Adjani lifts her clothes to show a single boob. And it's beautiful!
The English Patient
One of the most famous desert films of all time is this critically acclaimed 90s drama, The English Patient. Set in hilly desert dunes in World War II, Kristin Scott Thomas shows off her hills and curves when this gorgeous woman shows off her nude hourglass figure. That'll bring any patient back to good health!
El Topo
Alejandro Jodorowsky's ultimate midnight movie is 1970's El Topo. This desert adventure puts the surrealist filmmaker's touch on a Western. Alejandro and his real son wander the desert and find mayhem, mischief, and mavens along the way. There are many mavens who don't have their clothes on - el topo and el bottomo.
Seriously, the women in this film have that all-natural 70s aura that screams sex appeal. Check out these lovely ladies, for example. Mara Lorenzio and Paula Romo go for a sandy soak when they find a watering hole.
Dune Warriors
Here's a lesser-known 90s film with great desert nudity. In a dystopian future, Earth is a desert wasteland where water is the most valuable resource available. Yes, it sounds a lot like the plot of Dune meets Mad Max. In this version, women are the messiahs who protect their land against warlords who want to steal their water and their women.
Watch these desert warriors with their domes out as they take refuge from war with some nude fun:
Do you want to see even more smoking-hot ladies in the desert? Then check out this playlist so steamy it could make the desert wet:
