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The English Patient (1996)

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Review

Ralph Fiennes plays a horribly burned man on his deathbed at the close of WWII in the critically-lauded film The English Patient (1997). But wait- don't give up on this tear-jerker yet, because if you do you'll miss out on a real jerk-off opportunity. While Fiennes may not be exactly attractive to the ladies as a scabby piece of human charcoal, he has a vivid memory. In flashbacks he recalls former lovers like Kristin Scott-Thomas, who does a full frontal getting into, then out of, the bath and shows breasts in a post-sex scene, and Juliette Binoche, who shows a breast in a brief, dark sex scene. Yes, be patient with this one, and you'll be rewarded in your English royal jewels.

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