Tarzan, the Ape Man (1981)

As the quintessential wild man, Tarzan is no stranger to the big screen. The Edgar Rice Burroughs character has popped up in silent films (Tarzan of the Apes, The Romance of Tarzan, The Revenge of Tarzan, Tarzan and the Golden Lion); Hollywood movies (Tarzan and His Mate, Tarzan Escapes, Tarzan Finds a Son!, Tarzan’s Secret Treasure, Tarzan’s Hidden Jungle); foreign productions (Adventures of Tarzan, Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes, The Legend of Tarzan, Tarzán, Tarzana, sesso selvaggio); plus X- and R-rated romps (Tarz & Jane, Cheetah & Boy, Tarzeena, Queen of Kong Island). Of course, we must mention the John Derek flick Tarzan, the Ape Man (1981). In this version, the titular swinger is portrayed by Miles O’Keeffe. Yet his lady love Jane is the real star of the story. Through her perspective, we realize that one meets the most interesting people when venturing into a remote part of the African jungle. This is particularly true if you happen to be a sexy and statuesque blonde of the ilk so magnificently embodied by Bo Derek. For her, no trip to the Dark Continent is complete without being kidnapped by potentially cannibalistic natives, menaced by fierce beasts, and creeped out by slimy reptiles, both of the scaly and human varieties. What is a defenseless but wonderfully equipped stunner to do? Purse her lips, drop her clothing, tout her three Bs, and wait for her man to swing in for the rescue. As Tarzan would say, “You Jane, me horny.”