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Caligula (1979)

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Sir John Gielgud, Helen Mirren, Malcolm McDowell, and Peter O'Toole star in this porn movie about the decadence that was Rome. Yes, porn movie. Written by highbrow scribe Gore Vidal, Caligula (1979) tells the real story of the famously insane Roman emperor, complete with come shots, full penetration, spread beavers, slurped schlongs, and lap-liquefying lesbianism. Besides Helen, who loves to show off her funbags, blonde-bushed Teresa Ann Savoy—as the emperor's sisterly object of depraved obsession—goes full frontal, and Lori Wagner and Anneka Di Lorenzo leave no hole unlicked in their suck-a-thon from the days when Sappho herself might have joined in the fun. Mirella D'Angelo gets it on with McDowell, who then shoves his fist up some greased man butt. That's art—and never more artfully presented than in Image Entertainment's 2007 multi-DVD Special Edition package, which comes with (nearly) as many bonus features as there are no-name extras naked and copulating on screen in the film itself.


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