The dirty little secret military recruiters don't want to tell you is that when you're off fighting in wars, the dudes staying home are looking to nail your wives and girlfriends. While it's generally considered grody to root for Jody, you can't help but cheer for the hormonal young dude in Malèna (2000). In 1940's Sicily, young Renato’s (Giuseppe Sulfaro) life is changing drastically. On the day the teen boy gets his first bicycle, Mussolini is taking his Sicilian village off to battle. He’s too young to go to war, but he starts feeling some very adult feelings towards the alluring outsider Malèna (Monica Bellucci), whose new husband was just sent away to war. Makes sense. What male wouldn't be infatuated with a babe like Malèna? Renato becomes stealing panties off her clothesline obsessed, but when her husband dies, she ends up penniless and having to prostitute herself to the German invaders. Will she recover, or possibly end up under the covers with Renato? It's not hard to see why the little man was always hard when he saw Monica Bellucci. Whether she's a blonde bombshell with her humongous hooters in some German's face as she rides him, a housewife cleaning her massive melons in the sink, a dick in hand fantasy where she lets the youngin see her bush, or just bending over bare assed to grab the newspaper, we'd have dodged any draft to have her on our shaft! But she's no the only Italian dream in the flick. The other busy babe, Elisa Morucci goes full frontal for the kid as he lies down on a bed, showing the young man what top notch Morucci coochie really looks like! War is Hell, but it's a Hell of a lot worse when you've got girls like Malèna waiting for you back home!