Bachelor Party (1984)

Before he was Forrest Gump, Sheriff Woody, or Mr. Rogers, Tom Hanks was Rick Gassko, a bus-driving schlub who somehow gets engaged to rich socialite Tawny Kitaen in Bachelor Party (1984). Rick is a bit of a wild man, which is why his friends can't believe it when he decides to settle down and tie the knot with the absurdly rich and hot Debbie (Tawny Kitaen). Rick's best bud Jay (Adrian Zmed) decides he'll throw his friend the wildest bachelor party anyone has ever seen, which gives Debbie's dad the perfect opportunity to keep his busty daughter from marrying a bus driver. Using Debbie's ex Cole (Robert Prescott) as their saboteur, Debbie's parents do everything they can to make sure the party leads to the end of the engagement. What follows is a cavalcade of hookers, drugs, debauchery, and even a barnyard animal for a kink. Tawney finds out about the skin-dig, of course, and skin-nanigans ensue. From kidnappings and cops to fistfights, horses doing blow and even suicide attempts, this 80s sex comedy laid the foundation for flicks like The Hangover (2009) by essentially inventing the genre. Speaking of getting laid, there's a lot of in-the-background nudity to keep you busy between laughs, like when Michele Starck and Renee Brault go topless in a sex tape the fellas all watch together. Bet that gave Tom a huge woody! Tawny Kitaen will have you craving kitty after seeing her in a white garter, while Rosanne Katon brings a bit of color to the shindig as a bikini wearing stripper who teases like she and Dani Douthette just might lock the door and do it. Angela Aames aims to please as a busty blonde mom holding her baby with her giant baby bottles in everyone's face, while Toni Allessandrini will stiffen your weenie as a thong wearing can-can dancer. Can we pay more for her to go even further? But the most incredible scene in the whole movie comes when Penthouse Pet Monique Gabrielle peels down to her girl fur as she goes full frontal to seduce Tom Hanks. The schoolboys he drives in the bus come to him in a dream to cheer him on, but you don't get to be "America's dad" by doing the deed with someone other than your fiancé. What a missed opportunity to at least get a squeeze of some incredible titty! No stag will have you needing a jerk rag like the one we see in Bachelor Party!