How do you remake a classic silent-era comedy? If you’re Gary Sinyor you look for inspiration in Buster Keaton’s short Seven Chances (1925) and then add color with busty beauties such as Mariah Carey and Brooke Shields. The Bachelor (1999) stars Chris O’Donnell as a confirmed bachelor who must marry before he turns thirty or else lose his family fortune. He’s got one day, and he’s also got Renée Zellweger, but what he doesn’t have is skin. Even Mariah and Brooke only tease, which will keep the audience confirmed bachelors.