SKINcoming -- February 2005!By J.R. Taylor

Forget flowers and candy this Valentine's Day. Tell your girlfriend that you'll be spending her gift money on some skinsational new DVDs for yourself--and so her real present is a night off from her womanly duties, while you're skinfully entertained by the likes of Laura Linney, Juliette Binoche, and more!


Out on Tuesday, February 1

Ray (2004; Universal Pictures)
Critics were knocked out by Jamie Foxx's performance as the legendary Ray Charles. This biopic probably also knocked out the eyes of lucky guys who weren't expecting to see some succulent skin in a PG-13 film. The titular hero doesn't let spreading his music stop him from spreading the legs of some amazing ladies. But as noted, it's a PG-13 production, so just enjoy the bra-clad Regina King and a cameo by Aunjanue Ellis's mighty right breast. Ray is probably doing the same from heaven.

She Hate Me (2004; Columbia TriStar)
Everybody thought director Spike Lee had a sure-fire hit with this film. Who wouldn't want to see fired executive Anthony Mackie land on his feet while cavorting with lesbians on their backs? Instead, this comedy about a professional impregnator for lesbian couples got lost amongst the summer blockbusters. The film still offers plenty of cockbusters, though, including a bevy of boobies from actresses such as Kerry Washington, Savannah Haske, Ling Bai, Paula Jai Parker, and Aura Grimolyte.


Out on Tuesday, February 8

P.S. (2004; Columbia TriStar)
Teenage Topher Grace gets to top Laura Linney when he applies to Columbia University's School of Fine Arts. She's the admissions officer who's willing to admit Topher into all kinds of places once she sees how much the kid resembles her old dead boyfriend. Marcia Gay Harden thickens the plot as Linney's old high-school friend who can't resist revisiting the past by trying to steal this latest version of her pal's boyfriend. There's not much nudity, but Linney shows off some lusciousness during some hot--and clothed--simulated sex. Your penis will also extend a postscript when Linney puts on underwear beneath a very sheer dress and exposes a slip of the nip while strolling around in her bra.

The Notebook (2004; New Line Home Video)
This touching tale of old people looking back at young love was a surprise box-office hit. Of course, it didn't hurt that this film--alongside Ray--provided 2004's other surprising glance at some PG-13 poontang. Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling are the young couple separated by the usual class issues. Their passion can't keep them apart, though. It also can't keep Rachel's blouse together, as she passingly displays her pert young pretties while getting ravaged by Ryan.

Deadwood: Season One (Warner Brothers)
Ian McShane spends most of this series calling every person in Deadwood a "cocksucker", but there's still plenty of heterosexual action going on--mainly at the whorehouse of this South Dakota town in 1876. This critically acclaimed HBO series also has plenty of skin, all presented in historically accurate furburgerage anytime there's a full-frontal display. This box set will prompt plenty of live wood from the likes of Molly Parker (Picture: 1), Paula Malcomson (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3), and Robyn Hyden.


Out on Tuesday, February 15

Rendez-Vous (1985; Home Vision Entertainment)
Before she broke through in The English Patient (1996), Juliette Binoche broke out of her clothes in this stunning debut as a wild gal out to become an actress in Paris. She falls in with a weird crew of guys, including a roommate who performs in sex shows onstage. Your zipper will have a rendez-vous with your penis as Juliette goes full frontal--and bares her backside too. It's also two-la-la on the ooh-la-la as Caroline Faro (Picture: 1 - 2) follows up with more of the sexy same.

Taxi (2004; Fox Home Entertainment)
This comedy lacks nudity--and laughs, according to the critics--but there's one scene that'll get your meter running. Jimmy Fallon is a cop being driven around by Queen Latifah in pursuit of Brazilian bank robber Gisele Bundchen. Hilarity supposedly ensues, but a lot more zippers were driven out of control when Gisele gave Jennifer Esposito an extremely friendly frisking. Ann-Margret might also get your groin racing as Fallon's hard-drinking MILF.


Out on Tuesday, February 22

The Shield: Season Three (2003; Fox Home Entertainment)
The third season of this hardboiled cop drama will get a nightstick knocking upside of your pants--but not because of ugly ol' Michael Chiklis as the corrupt cop and anti-hero. The Shield also offers some sex to go with its violence. This season's shots include a nice aerial view of cop Aisha Hinds (Picture: 1) showing off her buxom backside.

I (heart) Huckabees (2004; Fox Home Entertainment)
This high-concept comedy is about activist Jason Schwartzman hiring "existentialist detectives" Dustin Hoffman and Lily Tomlin to solve the mystery of his obsession with a giant chain store. The wild cast of characters also provides lots of exiskintial angst as we watch gorgeous gals come real close to dropping their clothes. Isabelle Huppert caresses her body while clad in a short towel, Naomi Watts is seen in panties and bra, Isla Fisher does a commercial in her underwear, and Shania Twain--playing herself!--gets violent with Jude Law while in a hot country & western outfit that gets our trousers pointing north.

A Snake of June (2002; Tartan Video Asia Extreme)
The Grudge (2004) comes out on DVD this month, but we prefer Asuka Kurosawa (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3) to shed her clothes and start indulging her husband's bizarre desires. This is some fine Pink Cinema, although that means Asuka strictly bares those boobies--as does an anonymous actress who starts the film by posing for some priceless pics.

Modern Problems (1981; Anchor Bay)
Just how lax were the censors at the start of the '80s? Well, this Chevy Chase comedy got a mere PG rating despite one of the sexiest scenes of all time--and, no, we're not talking about the scene where Dabney Coleman shows his ass. Chevy plays a tormented air-traffic controller who drives through toxic waste and develops telekinetic powers. He uses this newfound talent to wreak vengeance upon his tormentors. Oh, and it also comes in handy for giving his estranged wife Patti D'Arbanville some amazing multiple orgasms. Nobody will be having penis problems as Patti writhes around in ecstasy during a scene that's both comic and erotic. You'll also catch Patti covering up a slip of the nip when she's finally finished faking it to an extraordinary degree. Also, don't forget to check out Jennifer Aniston recreating the scene with Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty (2003).

Sex is Comedy (2002; MGM)
Director Catherine Breillat shot an innovative sex scene for her acclaimed film Fat Girl (2001), which inspired this comedy about the shooting of a sex scene. Anne Parillaud stars as the director trying to work with an on-screen couple who can't stand each other. In a really tragic twist, leading lady Roxane Mesquida (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3 - ) doesn't even want to do nudity. Still, we'll be seeing that massive Mesquida muff--and more--before the film (and film-within-a-film) is finished.

Venus in Furs (1969; Blue Underground)
Our friends at the Blue Underground label continue their Jess Franco reissue campaign with one of the prolific director's true masterpieces. American pop star James Darren dared to play the lead role in this spooky take on decadent rich folk. He's wandering through the desert and trying to piece together his memories of a wild night at the mansion of Klaus Kinski. That's already enough to be sure that Darren had a really good time. It's still important to reclaim the past, though, because that's where Jess shot all the naughty nude footage of Margaret Lee and Maria Rohm!

99 Women (1969; Blue Underground)
Our friends at the Blue Underground label continue their Jess Franco reissue campaign with one of the prolific director's worst pictures. Actually, even bad Franco is entertaining Franco, so this one remains recommended. Fans of the director's extreme kinkiness might still be underwhelmed by this women-in-prison film. It's a far cry from the sexy sickness of Sadomania (1981). In fact, there might be 99 women behind these bars, but skinema fans will have to settle for just seeing the imprisoned pair of Rosalba Neri.


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