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Road House

Road House (2024)

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After being threatened for many years with everyone from Channing Tatum to Ronda Rousey in the leading role, 2024 finally brought us the ill-advised remake of the Patrick Swayze classic Road House (2024) from director Doug Liman (The Bourne Identity, Edge of Tomorrow). Jake Gyllenhaal steps into the role of legendary bouncer Dalton, here a former UFC fighter who now makes a living by going to rough and tumble road house bars and cleaning them up with his zen philosophies like "Never underestimate your opponent," "Take it outside," "Be nice... until it's time to not be nice," and of course, "Pain don't hurt."

Dalton is hired by Frankie (Jessica Williams) to clean up her Florida Keys road house, which is under constant threat from the violent enforcers working for clean cut rich guy Ben Brandt (Billy Magnusson). His clean-up efforts are going well until he runs up against the rampant corruption in town, not to mention Brandt's dangerous henchman Knox (Conor McGregor). Dalton now faces the fight of his life, but not before wooing a local doctor named Ellie (Daniela Melchior). 

Unfortunately, while the 1989 original was positively awash in naked women, this remake is something of a pale imitator, with the only flash of bare breasts coming from a topless Claudia Pena as she bids farewell to McGregor's character in one scene. The always sexy Daniela Melchior throws in some nice bikini cleavage, but it really can't hold a candle to Kelly Lynch's backburger or Julie Michaels striptease in the original!