Hot Moves (1984)

Don’t be fooled by the title — Hot Moves (1984) is all about hot boobs! It’s a hormonal horn-ball flesh-fest, the kind the ’80s did best, where the plot is secondary to the steamy starlets on screen. The story follows a few high school juniors in Venice (California, not Italy) who’ve made a pact to get some ass before the summer’s end. Michael (Adam Silbar) is a virgin with a virgin girlfriend who wants to plow her un-driven snow. Barry (Michael Zorek) is a chubster with a chubby who peeks at the boi-oi-oing beach babes through a telescope. As such, we get to see the jugs on Jamie (Gayle Gannes) when she makes out with a dude in her bedroom just 21 minutes into the movie. No wonder, Sissy (Tami Holbrook) opts to go topless in the privacy of her closet as she makes out with her man. If that’s not titillating enough, Heidi (Deborah Richter) reveals her mams, ass and muff while oiling up on the beach. Later, the curvaceous cutie busts out her conical casabas in bed with a guy … who turns her down. Unfathomable! Did we mention Julie Ann (Jill Schoelen) struts her stuff in an itsy bitsy teeny weeny bikini? Breast of all, busty Babs (Monique Gabrielle) yanks up her shirt to expose a pair of boobs so splendid and sublime, you won’t believe your eyes. Even though this teen sex comedy was a miss with critics, we gladly give it a standing ovation in our jeans!