By Peter Landau
Writer Elmore Leonard penned some of his earliest novels while still working as a copywriter at an advertising agency. He kept his manuscripts in a desk drawer, with his hand stuck inside, writing unobserved. Judging by the randy subjects of his pants-boiling novels, it doesn't take a great imagination to guess where his other hand was.
Leonard first published western pulps in the '50s before moving on to the crime and mystery genre that made him famous. His stories hit the big screen with The Tall T (1957), and the screenwriting part of his career took off with The Moonshine War (1970). But his feisty tales of criminals and femme fatales, never lacking in the lustier side of literature, had already made a skinful debut in theaters prior to that.
From The Big Bounce (1969) to The Big Bounce (2004) remake, Leonard has been giving audiences Elmore of a reason to plant their asses in the seats and be skintertained by the magic of moving pictures. With Get Shorty (1995) coming to DVD in a superb two-disc collector's set, it's high time to get familiar with all the hot shorties that Leonard has created with pencil in hand, so that we could put our instrument in hand.
The chronological listing below ends before Mr. Skin could get a peek at the soon-to-be-released Get Shorty sequel Be Cool (2005) or the in-production Tishomingo Blues (2005). Before those movies are released, this comprehensive list will keep you warm and sticky as you release.
The Big Bounce (1969)
The plots of Leonard's double-dealings are twisted and obscene, and that's no different here in the early stages of his filmic career. So let's focus on the obscene parts that are provided by the lovely Leigh Taylor-Young (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3). She teases with two skinny-dipping scenes, one from a distance and the other at night, plus gets naked in a graveyard for you ghouls. As her nude debut, it's quite the expos?or Leigh. The delicate flower girl only revealed her petals one more time in The Horsemen (1971) (Picture: ). Whoa, Nellie!
Valdez Is Coming (1971)
This adaptation of one of Leonard's western novels is sure to lasso your bighorn thanks to redheaded, green-eyed lady Susan Clark (Picture: 1). There's a scene in the movie where a Mexican lawman, played by Burt Lancaster, surprises Susan in bed with co-star Jon Cypher. She's naked underneath the sheets, which Lancaster thankfully snaps off her, revealing a quick and blurry flash of flesh. But Susan had already popped her skin cherry in Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) and continued to let it all hang out in features such as Night Moves (1975) and Deadly Companion (1980). As always, Clark's candy bars are a mouth-watering teat!
The Ambassador (1984)
The bad nudes is that this marks the final appearance of Ellen Burstyn's skin onscreen (Picture: 1 - 2). She had been on a roll since her nude debut (and full frontal at that!) in Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer (1970) (Picture: 1), followed by Alex in Wonderland (1970) (Picture: 1) and King of Marvin Gardens (1972) (Picture: 1). The good nudes is that this film opens with a fifty-two-year-old Ellen dancing topless and showing that, like fine wine, boobs too get better with age.
52 Pick-Up (1986)
Vanity (Picture: 1), Kelly Preston (Picture: 1), and porn star Amber Lynn make this the moist skinful production yet from the libidinous Leonard. Kelly plays the mistress of a potential politico. She's murdered in a blackmail attempt to keep the politician's ambitions at bay, but not before she's stripped naked and tied to a chair by the bad guys. Amber flashes her plastic fantastic lovers at a wild party, and Vanity does a private dance for our civic-minded anti-hero. Now that's a holey trinity!
Glitz (1988)
Markie Post is a bit of a skin enigma. She's never been "officially" naked onscreen, according to the peepers at Skin Central, but there have been those unintentional slips. For instance, in Tricks of the Trade (1988) she takes a naked swim where the camera catches a frame or two of her fleeting nipple (Picture: 1). That's about all you get in this Leonard TV movie about a Miami cop in Puerto Rico. She continued her arousing antics in Visitor of the Night (1995) (Picture: ), where aliens probe her naked body, only Markie is covering up her breasts in fear. Markie, don't be scared; it's time to Post some real skin!
Cat Chaser (1989)
This flick was helmed by wild-man director Abel Ferrara, so it's only a matter of time before star Kelly McGillis shares her McBoobies with the audience (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3). In fact, it takes twenty-four minutes. But that's only a slipple of the nipple, a mere tease in comparison to her next skinful scene, where she strips naked.
Touch (1997)
Bridget Fonda is the only actress to get naked in two of Leonard's noir nookie classics (Picture: 1). This was her first foray into the woods, with her buttocks mooning the audience as she tumbles in the bed with wolfish Skeet Ulrich. It's a cheeky performance, one that was echoed that same year, but we'll get to that in a moment. Bridget has been doing the nude thing since Aria (1987) (Picture: 1 - 2 - 3), arguably her breast skin onscreen, and was last seen lustfully turning on audiences with a slip of her nipple in Kiss of the Dragon (2001) (Picture: 1). It's been awhile for this lusty lady, so stay tuned . . . she's due.
Gold Coast (1997)
The cable network Showtime lives up to its name in their production of this Leonard novel. The action in this caper takes place around the pool. First, Marg Helgenberger (Picture: 1) skinny dips yet manages to mostly hide her moist bits--for a better look at her frame check out Frame by Frame (1996) (Picture: 1 - 2). Melissa Hickey (Picture: 1), however, has been naked nowhere else. But she proves herself wankable with a full-beaver flash as she runs to the aforementioned pool for a nude swim of her own. It's not too late for her to return to another Leonard movie. Who wouldn't want a Hickey from Melissa?
Jackie Brown (1997)
Leonard says that Get Shorty was the first time the movies got one of his books right. Well, after that some big-time directors got their hands on his material and continued the winning streak. Quentin Tarantino left no holes barred, returning the top-heavy blaxploitation beauty Pam Grier to the screen, though mysteriously leaving her big guns holstered. But he did get a bottom-heavy Bridget Fonda to show off her heart-shaped ass for the second time (Picture: 1) in a movie based on a Leonard book. That's like hitting the Jackie Brown Pot!
Out of Sight (1998)
Steven Soderbergh directs this adaptation of Leonard's novel. And he is no dummy, casting Jennifer Lopez (Picture: 1) as his female lead. This is a star who leads from the backside yet has never shown off that bulbous bundle of butt onscreen! Soderbergh is too refined a director to stoop to such a low level as filming his stars naked, but sometimes the best laid plans of mice and directors go astray. In the extended trunk-ride scene from the DVD, if you look real close, there's a nipple that momentarily gets away from J. Lo. If you prefer something more rewarding, get on the Money Train (1995) for her money shot (Picture: 1 - 2).
The Big Bounce (2004)
It's so good they had to make it twice. While this modern update on Leonard's book--and first movie nudity--is actually less skinful than its predecessor, it's worth a look-see, especially if you're a butt man. Sara Foster sunbathes nude on her belly (Picture: 1), giving audiences an exquisite view of her hindquarters. It looks so nice you'll want to move in. And this remake sets an interesting precedent: Moviemakers are beginning to revisit Leonard's already vast body of work, which means more skin for everyone. It'll take a mathematician to figure out how many more times skinsters will be rewarded!
