The Winter Guest (1997)

Before they were hanging out at Hogwarts, Alan Rickman was bossing around Emma Thompson in his directorial debut, The Winter Guest (1997). Based on a Scottish play, this one follows a group of people suffering through the Scotish winter. And we mean suffering, since it's cold, boring, and grey. There's Elspeth (Phyllida Law) who is dealing with her grieving daughter Frances (her real life daughter Emma Thompson) essentially quitting on life. From ignoring her photographer job to borderline abandoning the idea of raising her teenage son Alex (Gary Hollywood), Frances needs mom to jolt her back to life from her deepest of doldrums. Alex, at least, has something to look forward to in life, since the young hottie Nita (Arlene Cockburn) is looking to ease his pain by hopping on his peen. Okay, maybe not everyone is suffering. Meanwhile, Lily (Sheila Reid) and Chloe (Sandra Voe) are old ladies with nothing to look forward to in life other than attending the next funeral of their newest, dead old friend. On the other end of the age spectrum, Sam (Douglas Murphy) and Tom (Sean Biggerstaff) are skipping school and trying to see if there's any interesting way to kill the day. Eventually they decide to walk on some ice, which is a terrible decision that just might be the last one, one of them ever makes. This is a "day in the life" film that is sure to brighten your day thanks to the nudity. Emma Thompson flashes a bit of unshaved pit and tit while lying in the bathtub and trying to avoid dealing with life. But it's young Arlene Cockburn that will have you covering yours in lotion. She is all sorts of pasty but tasty as she goes topless while having sex with young Alex. Scotland's got horny babes with hooters like that? Who would have guessed? Not us before watching The Winter Guest!