Cousin Bette (1998)

Jessica Lange is Cousin Bette (1998), a pissed off spinster out for revenge against her own family, for their choices that led to her lonely life. See, Bette's family only had enough money to pick one of their daughters to dress up and marry off. They picked Bette's cousin Adelaide (Geraldine Chaplin), and sent Bette to work in the fields. Now Bette's forty, lonely, and her pampered cousin has just squandered the family fortune and died. Jessica thinks that the new widower (Hugh Laurie) has proposed marriage, but he has actually only invited her to become his housekeeper. Furious, she heads to Paris and starts working with Jenny Cadine (Elisabeth Shue) a performer in bawdy 19th century revue. There, Bette falls in love with the starving artist Wenceslas (Aden Young), only for her to bail on Bette and start hooking up with Adelaide's young, hot daughter Hortense (Kelly Macdonald). Now more pissed than you could possibly imagine, Bette decides she's going to get her revenge on everyone, and use Jenny Cadine to do it. Do your thing, cuz! Even if the idea that no dude was dying to give their wang to Jessica Lange is a bit unbelievable, the flick based on an old Balzac novel is a fun one. A shoe in to get your libido going are the scenes where Elisabeth Shue does some showing. As the hottest performer on the Parisian burlesque scene, Elisabeth showed her buns several times in several different stage costumes. Whether she was flashing ass as both an angel and a devil, or even flashing buns with some other fake nuns, the star of the show was Jenny Cadine's can! But that's not to say Elisabeth didn't show her suck sacks, too! At one point Elisabeth is seducing our young sculptor, and decided the best way to do that is to give him a glimpse of the gazoongas! Truly, a timeless technique. We bet you'll like those scenes in Cousin Bette!