Hackers (1995)

Creating dramatic tension for a cast of pretty people hunkered around computer keyboards is the great challenge of 21st century screenwriting. There is only so much dynamic suspense that can be achieved by a seated actor or actress peering into a flashing monitor with a look of concentrated intent, then typing away madly as they spit out all sorts of jumbled jargon. Unless, of course, that actress is Angelina Jolie. Back when computer hackers were an underground subculture of hi-tech, pleather clad vigilantes, instead of Bangladeshi criminals trying to get your granny to wire them Amazon gift cards, Hackers (1995) came along and made computer nerds cool. Or at least, promised hot hacker chicks willing to ride your dick. Trust us, though, no man has ever gotten into a girl's panties by getting into a mainframe. In the film. Angie plays Kate "Acid Burn" Libby, a high school hacker leading a ragtag group of cyber criminals. After tanking the stock market as a preteen, Dade "Zero Cool" Murphy (Jonny Lee Miller) joins the group as soon as he's legally allowed to touch a computer. At first, it's all fun, games and hijinks as Dade and Kate face off to figure out who's the best hacker. But when an evil hacker named The Plague (Fisher Stevens) tries to frame them for his own financial crimes, our digital dreamteam has to hunker down, team up, and take him down. This one might be laughable to kids who grew up with the internet, but it's a cult classic for some very good reasons. With a young Angelina Jolie flaunting her formidable lips and breasts, and Matthew Lillard doing his overly over the top thing a year before Scream (1996), it's very watchable. But the real reason Mr. Skin has a ton of pasty fellas protecting his website's passwords, is for the amazing nude scenes from Miss Jolie. Angie unzips her jacket to flash her funbags before hopping on future ex-husband Jonny Lee Miller, only for the Feds to show up and stop the fun. We get another look at those hooters when her friends interrupt the action, a totally different time. What's a good hack to deal with constant cockblocking? After all, there's nothing like playing with a stacked rack after a good hack. Hack the Planet!