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Samurai Cop

Samurai Cop (1991)

Great Nudity!

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One of the greatest "so bad it's good" films of all time, Iranian director Amir Shervan's legendary action epic Samurai Cop (1991) continues to delight audiences with its utter ineptness. From the lead chopping all his hair off before reshoots and having to wear an absurd, woman's wig for like half the movie, the filmmakers being too poor to shoot at night, the director dubbing over a bunch of minor characters with his own voice, and a plethora of oddly timed cuts designed so they could use less film, there were so many bad decisions in the production of this karate cop classic, it's amazing it's not only watchable but a whole lot of fun. Matt Hannon, former bodyguard for Sylvester Stallone, stars as the titular cop Joe Marshall, a white dude who's studied under the Samurai. When the Japanese gangs take over LA's drug trade, he gets brought in by the LAPD and tasked with taking down Fujiyama (Cranston Komuro) and his notorious Katana gang. He'll battle everyone from the bloodthirsty Yamashita (Robert Z'Dar) to a crazy gay waiter, all on his path to taking down the bad guys with his bushido. In fact, he'll eventually just decide to slaughter everyone with guns, since that's way easier than all that Samurai stuff. This one blew up on the internet thanks to its legendary "horny nurse" scene where the sight of our Samurai has a blonde nurse so hot and bothered she offers to bang him, only to end up disappointed that Matt's not packing a longsword below the belt. We'd probably cry, puke, and seppuku ourselves if that ever happened. But don't worry about Joe Marshall, the Samurai Cop manages to bed all sorts of other ladies. Melissa Moore bares her beautiful breasts and be-thonged booty while getting busy with the Samurai Cop, which lets us see her hooters as she rides him, and her booty cheeks as she rolls on top of him. Later in the film, he only has eyes for another blonde with big jugs, Jannis Farley! You will too when you get a load of Jannis' suck sacks as she and Samurai Cop get it on! There's also a phenomenal fully nude scene from the captivating redhead Cameron Oppenheimer, who bares all three b's while getting hot and heavy with Robert Z'Dar! That killer body is a destroyer of worlds! A sequel came out in 2015, but when you're actively trying to be funny, it's just not the same. Thanks to the absurdity of the film and the absurd number of sexy women in it, once you start watching Samurai Cop you can't stop!