The Lickerish Quartet (1970)

These days porn is all pizza boys, paying the rent, and perving on your stepmom. But back in the 70's there were at least a few daring directors willing to try something new with their nudey flick. Esteemed soft-skin director Radley Metzger was one of those such men, as best exemplified by his Italian skin flick The Lickerish Quartet (1970). Originally in Italian before being dubbed into English, the film starts out with a father (Frank Wolff) watching a dirty movie alongside his wife (Erika Remberg) and son (Paolo Turco) in their fancy castle home. Bored, they head into town for the annual carnival, and amazingly run into the stacked blonde (Silvana Venturelli) that starred in the movie they were just watching. Starstruck, they convince her to accompany them back to their countryside villa for an orgy of existential and surreal seduction. But when they get back home and try to show her the movie they're convinced she starred in, the film is bad and the actress is too blurry to distinguish. Then, after she seduces both the wife and the son, somehow the dad and her are in the movie itself and an entirely different couple are watching the film. What is real? What is imagined? Where is the line that separates memory and fantasy? Why is it that all the deep places of Mr. Skin's psyche are drenched in imagery of skin sliding on skin? And above all else: does The Lickerish Quartet make a lick of sense to anyone out there? Well, Andy Warhol loved it. Roger Ebert definitely didn't. But no critic could deny that Mr. Metzger at least brought some inventive imagination to the film designed for easy masturbation. Let's celebrate his trying just a bit harder than everyone else, by getting super hard to his sex scenes. In what would end up being her final film role, the MILFy Erika Remberg showed all three B's in color while seducing her husband totally nude. But we're willing to venture a guess that you're here for Silvana Venturelli, and who could blame you? Silvana's a classic blonde bombshell, who was willing to show off every bit of her body while taking some dick on top of a giant dictionary, as well as while railing some young fella in the movie the family is watching. Who wouldn't want to bring a girl like that home, give her some liquor, and see if she'll reenact some scenes from The Lickerish Quartet?