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Skyscraper

Skyscraper (1997)

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Review

It might not be as famous as the 2018 Dwayne Johnson movie of the same name, but thanks to the titanic twin towers of Anna Nicole Smith, Skyscraper (1997) is a whole lot easier to get your rocks off to! Unsurprisingly released straight to video, the infamous, late Playboy Playmate and reality TV star plays Carrie Wink, a helicopter pilot who ferries celebs and high rollers around LA. But when one of the fellas she brings to the Zitex Building ends up being a terrorist named Fairfax (Charles M. Huber), suddenly Carrie finds herself as the lone person who can stop these psychos from getting the Macguffin that'll lead to them taking over the world. Often compared to Die Hard (1988), the claim here is that since Anna's married to a cop (Richard Steinmetz), she's picked up enough skills to take down the terrorists. Needless to say, critics weren't huge fans, but no film can be terrible when Anna's monster mams make an appearance. Yes, the minds behind this one were smart enough to know that the blonde bombshell's action debut would be an absolute bomb if they didn't unleash the Double D's, so this one gets rather softcore. Anna shows her pre-Trimspa deflation tatas in a ton of scenes, from an unnecessary shower at the beginning to two separate time she has sex with her hubby: one in real time and one that's a flashback to her time riding dick during a picnic, as Anna apparently gets super horny while getting her John McClane on. Die Hard never made us that hard! But the best scene comes when she seduces one of the baddies into doing it doggy style, only for that to be a ploy to reach into a desk to grab a gun and take him out. That's what we call action! Apparently, the sky's the limit to what you can accomplish with a colossal set of cans! If you're scraping the bottom of the streaming barrel and want a stupid movie starring a busty blonde with some stupidly sexy scenes in it, watch Skyscraper!