Pirates (2005)

Pornography set sail for the unknown when the production companies Digital Playground and Adam & Eve got together and decided they'd sink a then unheard of million dollars into the making of the XXX action flick Pirates (2005). Filmed on a sailing replica of the HMS Bounty, this one had all its own musical score, a solid script, and all sorts of special effects to go along with the sex. And it all paid off, to the tune of a massive hit that led to a sequel with an eight million dollar budget! That'll get your Roger jolly! Captain Edward Reynolds (Evan Stone) is an atrocious pirate hunter who is a bit of a joke to everyone but his first mate, who he likes to practice mating with, Jules (Jesse Jane). But when they stumble across a woman named Isabella (Carmen Luvana) claiming the feared pirate Victor Stagnetti (Tommy Gunn) sunk her ship and made her a widow, Reynolds sees it as a chance to make a name for himself by bringing down the legendary swashbuckler. Problem is, Stagnetti's going after the Scepter of Inca, which will give him near unstoppable powers if he gets his hands on it. From fights with sea monsters to diversions to the Far East for both exotic sex and gunpowder, Pirates is all about the head to head battle we all know is coming, if the dueling Captains would stop getting so much head for a second! Sure, it's a pirate movie but it's a porno first, so every woman in this one shows it all as she hops on top of some fella's skin scepter. Jesse Jane flashes it all, as does Janine Lindemulder while taking it from behind in the pirate's chambers! Walk the plank if you don't give it a spank! Carmen Luvana does some lovemaking with a puffy shirted pirate with a third leg that could act as a peg leg, as does Devon, though she keeps on her tricornered hat on. Just ignore the silicon filled funbags if you care about historical realism. Jenaveve Jolie flashes cans but no beav as a pirate dancer, while Austin Moore flashes the same, no more, while in bed with Reynolds. But the best nudity came from Teagan Presley as her and Devon tempt the Captain with a threesome. A big budget porn with all sorts of big titted wenches slobbering on dude's sabres? Pirates will get you so harrrrrd!