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I Love You, I Don't

I Love You, I Don't (1976)

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Review

The seventies were known for two things: great sex and gaudy fashions, and both combine to make I Love You, I Don't (1976) a wild ride through the days of disco and dick riding. Written and directed by French pop singer Serge GainsbourgAndy Warhol's favorite work of art Joe Dallesandro is Krassky, a gay garbage man whose truck route happens to pass by lonely waitress Johnny's (Jane Birkin) truck-stop. She quickly gets the hots for God's gift to garbage and the two become close. He figures that since she's sort of a tomboy with a dude's name, maybe they can make a romance work. Johnny's even willing to let him put it in the backdoor since lady parts gross him out. But a cutie with a pixie cut isn't going to cut it when you want a dude with a big dick. Plus, Krassky's young boytoy Padovan (Hugues Quester) isn't going to accept his gay lover's attempts at going straight without a fight, which leads to all sorts of problems. Here's hoping this romance ends with "let's just be friends." Don't miss the poster boy for French Fries himself, Gerard Depardieu, cameoing as a homeless pervert on a horse. But what you're really going to love is the roster of women who don't have a problem taking their clothes off in front of a camera. Gillian Gill, Josiane Leveque, and Doris Thomas all go topless as strippers, while Maite Nahyr ups the ante by dropping the panties as a hooker whose hooters we get a great look at. But since the whole movie's about whether Jane Birkin is boyish enough for a gay dude to enjoy nude, it only made since that she would flash all three B's to answer the question. From going full frontal after getting attacked, to going face down ass up as she floats on a tube down the river, and even bending over and letting her boobs hang as she tries taking it up the butt for the first time, one look at Jane Birkin and it was clear that Johnny was all woman to us! A tight ass, great tits, and spectacular lady bits? No chance a male member of the LGBT crew can pretend that's not top notch female T&A! Miss Birkin had us smirkin, since Mr. Skin loves that body, even if the dudes in the movie don't!