Two Orphan Vampires (1997)

Two Orphan Vampires (1997), or Les Deux orphelines, if you want to sound French and fancy, is based on a novel of the same name and was actually directed by the book's author Jean Rollin. This one has a unique twist on vampire lore: our bloodsucking babes are blind in the daytime, and can only see at night. Louise (Alexandra Pic) and Henriette (Isabelle Teboul) are our orphans, stuck living in an orphanage until they're adopted by a doctor. But the doc can't keep them inside for long, so soon enough they're exploring the cemeteries of Paris, meeting other supernatural creatures, and sucking dry anyone who comes across their path. Their memories are trash, so they don't know how old they are or how they ended up vampires, but they do know their new foster dad is dead serious about keeping them indoors at night, and that they might have to endure a tough fight to get past him. A serious and kind of sad take on living as an immortal creature of the night, there are naked women in all sorts of unexpected places throughout the film. Sadly, one of those unexpected places is not besides us on the couch where we sat watching this movie. Along the way, our orphan duo they meet a wolf woman, played by Nathalie Karsenty, who shows her howlingly hot breasts. She's trying to make a point about being attacked by dogs, but all we could think of was getting ahold of those perky puppies! Our parentlless vampires also flash for the camera, undressing each other and showing their hooters to an old man playing the piano. Those titties do not suck! Hard knock life? Nah, we got hard to the knockers of the Two Orphan Vampires!