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Two Lovers

Two Lovers (2008)

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Fyodor Dostoyevsky's "White Nights" gets a modern update over 150 years after publication with James Gray's Two Lovers (2008). After a tough breakup, depressed, suicidal aspiring photographer Leonard (Joaquin Phoenix) moves back in with his parents, and begins working in his father’s dry-cleaning shop. Leonard’s parents set him up with sweet-natured Sandra (Vinessa Shaw) and the two begin dating, but soon Leonard discovers his new neighbor Michelle (Gwyneth Paltrow), who’s living in an apartment paid for by her wealthy, married boyfriend. She's a hardcore junkie, but she sure tickles Leonard's junk, so even though he's got a nice girl to spend time with he can't stop chasing Michelle. But Michelle's got married men she's always hooking up with, keeps threatening to leave for California, and all sorts of other things that make her a nightmare to be with. Meanwhile, Sandra's dad is willing to make him a partner in the family business if he slips a ring on Sandra's finger. Leonard buys an engagement ring, but who's it for? Choose wisely, young man! But if you're looking for skin, unfortunately there's only one available choice. As great as it was to see former Hocus Pocus (1993) star Vinessa Shaw's well matured over the years, yabos, stuffed in a bra as she puts her clothes back on after a night with Joaquin, she never gets naked, for real. However, Gwyneth shows some skin-eth when she flashes her left boob for Joaquin. Supposedly she was a bit nervous about doing the scene since she didn't think after having two kids, that her pair were nearly as perky as they were in Flesh and Bone (1993), but they sure seemed to perk Leonard up! And we still got a boner! We needed to see full frontal from both ladies to determine who Leonard needed to choose. Instead, in Two lovers, there's just one left tit.