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The Slaughter

The Slaughter (2006)

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The Slaughter (2006) begins with grainy shots of a coven of white-hot witches wiggling out of their robes. They get stabby on an unseen sacrificial victim . . . and then we realize that it was all a dream. Or was it? Whatever the source of the sexy spookery, the dead-sexy dreamer ends up dead. Guess you shouldn't have inherited that haunted house, honey! Now, in the present day, a passel of bratty college kids—bimbolicious blonde Laura Stein, straight-laced looker Jessica Ellis, and a bunch of dudes—have taken a job cleaning the same horror-filled old homestead. They're soon being bothered by a creepy old crone, so when they find a book of spells, they naturally decide to read it aloud. Smart move, college kids! Having unleashed something unholy, the bimbo and her beau then unleash hell with shenanigans in bed that wake the dead.