Mr. Skin’s DVD Pick of the Week

Deadgirl (2009)
STUDIO: Dark Sky
NUDE: Jenny Spain (breasts, butt) (Picture)
Horny high schoolers J.T. (Noah Segan) and Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) discover a chained, naked, and evidently undead woman (Jenny Spain) in an abandoned mental asylum and decide to take advantage of the situation in the unique horror flick Deadgirl (2008). After J.T. bangs her, to Rickie’s horror, he starts inviting his friends over for gang bangs. The dead girl’s naked boobs, butt, and bush are featured prominently, so don’t be surprised if you get rigor mortis in your pants.

Amadeus: Director’s Cut (1984)Blu-Ray
STUDIO: Warner Bros.
NUDE: Elizabeth Berridge (breasts) (Picture)
Aside from splendid costumes, gregarious acting, rousing music, spectacular period-piece sets, and a fluid visual narrative that moves like emotions made three-dimensional, Amadeus (1984) has a moral: Genius is a cross that must be borne by the person afflicted with it and also by everyone who comes in contact with it. Academy Award-winning director Milos Forman constructs a parable for the ages using as raw material the truncated, brilliant life of composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozartas seen through the jealous eyes of a lesser composer of the day. Where envy reigns, compassion and understanding can never live.

An American Werewolf in London (1981)Blu-Ray
STUDIO: Universal
NUDE: Jenny Agutter (breasts) (Picture), Linzi Drew (FFN, butt) (Picture)
The British tend to view tourists from the breakaway States as somewhat uncouth johnny-come-lately fellows who could do with a tad of sophisticating. Imagine then the reactions of appalled English men and ladies of manners when visited by the utterly beastly An American Werewolf in London (1981). This John Landis-directed pastiche of comedy, drama, and gore-splattered suspense provided early 1980s America with a howling-good Top 40 hit with its eponymous theme song and won an Academy Award for the onscreen transformation of a likable-enough chap from the frontier into a bloody, horrid, flesh-craving monstrosity.

Army of Darkness: Screwhead Edition (1993)Blu-Ray
STUDIO: Universal
NUDE: Embeth Davidtz (body doublebreasts) (Picture)
The final movie in Sam Raimi’s beloved Evil Dead horror-comedy trilogy, Army of Darkness (1992) follows beleaguered hero Ash (Bruce Campbell) as he’s sucked through a vortex into the year 1300, where he has to retrieve a black magic book called the Necronomicon and defeat a demonic army of skeleton warriors so that he can make it back home. The skeletons aren’t all bad, though. They enslave sexy extra Embeth Davidtz and lead her around topless with only a strangely stationary piece of hair covering her nipple. Where’s a gust of wind when you need it?

The Buttercup Chain (1970)
NUDE: Jane Asher (breasts)
Hywel Bennett and Jane Asher are France and Margaret, a pair of cousins who try to suppress their incestuous desires for one another by each taking a lover in The Buttercup Chain (1970). Things get complicated when France’s girlfriend, Manny (Leigh Taylor-Young), suspects the truth, seduces Margaret’s boyfriend, Fred (Sven-Bertil Taube), and winds up pregnant. Along the way, Jane Asher turns flasher and shows some skin. If only she and Leigh Taylor-Young had made a daisy chain.

The Butterfly Effect (2004)
STUDIO: New Line
NUDE: Amy Esterle (left breast), Jacqueline Stewart (FFN) (Picture)
Ashton Kutcher is a science genius in this comedyno wait, it’s supposed to be a sci-fi thriller. The Butterfly Effect (2004) is a bit of a brain twister on several levels beyond casting. Kutcher’s girlfriend, played by Amy Smart, suffers worse than a Shakespearean tragic heroine as she endures her life in various alternate realities. The breast of these bizarro worlds by far is the one inhabited by Jacqueline Stewart, who offers the movie its moist titillating scene. It’s a full frontal, though it’s briefer than the batting of a butterfly’s wings.

Dumb Dumber (1994)
STUDIO: New Line
NUDE: Lauren Holly (butt) (Picture)
What do you get when you add funnyman Jim Carrey to kinda straight man Jeff Daniels and writer/directors the Farrelly brothers? Why, a psycho-comedy about two borderline-retarded wannabe worm-store proprietors setting cross country in a sheepdog-decorated dog-grooming van to return a missing briefcase full of extortion money to a hot chick, of course! Having no jobs or relationships to hold them to their life in Rhode Island and having mistaken gangsters for bill collectors, Lloyd (Carrey) and Harry (Daniels) set off to find heavenly hottie Mary (Lauren Holly) in Aspen. Don't miss Harry's ski-lift trouble or Lloyd's kung fu/love daydream set to a Cowsills song. This film offers indisputable proof that Lauren really does have great headlights!

Easy Virtue (2008)Blu-Ray
NUDE: Kimberley Nixon (bush, butt) (Picture)
Jessica Biel and Ben Barnes are Larita and John, a mismatched pair of newlyweds in the romantic comedy Easy Virtue (2008), based on a 1924 play by Nol Coward. After Larita’s husband kicks her out for suspected infidelity, she goes to the Riviera and meets John Whittaker, who marries her and takes her back home to meet his stuffy English family. Larita’s mother-in-law (Kristin Scott Thomas) dislikes her instantly, and even more so after learning about her past. As the dry humor starts to roll, we see Biel’s boobs in a bra and some quick upskirt bush from Kimberley Nixon. Not wearing underwearthat’s an easy virtue.

Friday the 13th Part VII: Deluxe Edition (1988)
STUDIO: Paramount
NUDE: Elizabeth Kaitan (breasts) (Picture), Heidi Kozak (FFN, butt) (Picture)
Okay, so by Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) we’re at the point where Jason has been chained and left at the bottom of Camp Crystal Lake. Now along comes sexy psychic teenager Lar Park-Lincoln, who accidentally frees the maniac from his watery prison. This, naturally, raises the question of how many horny teens will die during Jason’s latest killing spree. Also, why in the hell is anyone still going near Camp Crystal Lake?

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Deluxe Edition (1989)
STUDIO: Paramount
NUDE: Sharlene Martin (body doublebreasts, butt) (Picture), Tiffany Paulsen (breasts, butt) (Picture)
Most of the action of Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) takes place on a cruise ship heading to Manhattan, but this one still gets Jason away from Crystal Lake and toward slaughtering a better class of idiot teens. This is also the film where Jason goes beyond mere immortality and develops a knack for teleportation. The ending is baffling, but there are still some memorable scenesespecially the classic “knock your block off” boxing gag. And, of course, some gorgeous gals knock our own blocks off by exposing their knockers.

Grace (2009)Blu-Ray
STUDIO: Anchor Bay
NUDE: Jordan Ladd (butt) (Picture), Gabrielle Rose (breasts) (Picture)
The 2009 horror flick Grace (2009) stars Jordan Ladd as Madeline Matheson, a grief-stricken woman who insists on carrying her child to term even after she dies in the womb. But when the child is born dead, she miraculously returns to life but needs a constant supply of human blood to stay alive. There’s a little boob from Jordan at the end that may actually belong to a body double, but Gabrielle Rose definitely pops out her rightie for some lucky dude to suck on. Thanks for the saving grace, Gabrielle.

John Carpenter: Master of Fear CollectionThey Live (1988)
STUDIO: Universal
NUDE: Cibby Danyla (breasts) (Picture)
Aliens are among us and they've got us where they want us in They Live (1988), John Carpenter's sci-fi satire about a hypnotized humanity that's happily sold itself out. Roddy Piper stars as a drifter who discovers the horrible secret behind the Yuppies: They're winning the rat race by virtue of being from outer space! These buttoned-down ETs have entranced the people through TVs, movies, billboards, and magazines full of subliminal messages to obey the gods of money and commerce. Roddy and his buddy Keith David set out to free humankind from its unkind overlords, doing a lot of ass kicking in the process. Or, as Rowdy Roddy puts it: "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum."

The Lawnmower Man (1992)
STUDIO: New Line
NUDE: Jenny Wright (breasts) (Picture)
Rare is the homeowner who has not wished his gardener could exercise a few more brain cells. The common laborer in charge of maintaining a research scientist’s grounds in The Lawnmower Man (1992) is subjected to a series of experiments and chemical enhancements that increases his mental capacity by several hundreds of thousands of cells with each treatment. When the process is complete, The Lawnmower Man is finally able to distinguish between a weed that needs to be pulled and a bulb that needs to be nurtured. The problem is that his supercharged brain has its own ideas about which path to take for optimum career advancement.

Naughty Nymphs (1972)
STUDIO: Secret Key
NUDE: Sybil Danning (FFN, butt) (Picture), Eva Garden (breasts, bush, butt) (Picture), Christiane Maybach (breasts) (Picture), Alena Penz (FFN, butt) (Picture), Dorothea Rau (FFN)
Sybil Danning is the older sister of Eva Garden and Alena Penz in Naughty Nymphs (1972), a classic European sexploitation. Why are these nymphs so naughty? The younger ones are trying to get the older one to bang a different man in every town. Let's hope this trio of trollops is coming to a town near you, because if they are you'll be coming too! Of course they're all a bit older now, and this was Eva's last skin scene, while the others kept showing into the '80s, so enjoy them in their prime as the naughty nymphs of filmdom.

Nightwatching (2007)
STUDIO: E1 Entertainment
NUDE: Emily Holmes (FFN), Jodhi May (breasts, bush, butt)
British arthouse auteur Peter Greenaway directs the imaginative biopic Nightwatching (2007), starring Martin Freeman as 17th-century Dutch painter Rembrandt van Rijn. The movie follows Rembrandt as he paints his masterpiece Night Watch as a coded message to expose a group of conspirators responsible for a vicious murder. The conspiracy isn’t the only thing that gets exposed here. Emily Holmes goes full frontal and Jodhi May shows boobs, butt, and bush. Nice watching!

Phantasm II (1988)
STUDIO: Universal
NUDE: Samantha Phillips (breasts)
The cult horror sequel Phantasm II (1988) stars James LeGros as Mike, who gets out of the psychiatric hospital he was sent to in the first film and rejoins his friend Redge (Reggie Bannister). The pair then sets out to save a beautiful girl in Mike’s dreams from the clutches of The Tall Man (Angus Scrimm), an evil grave robber who employs gnomes and killer flying silver orbs to resurrect and enslave corpses. Samantha Phillips gets topless in bed with a dude, and that will make you have a phantasm in your pants.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre CollectionThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
STUDIO: New Line
NUDE: Jordana Brewster (butt) (Picture)
Poor, poor, pitiful Leatherface. After first gaining infamy in the drive-in cult sensation The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974), the power-tool-obsessed fright icon went on to make various bloody messes in three sequels and a big-budget 2003 Hollywood remake. Now we get his backstory in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006). The movie is set in the early 1970s and, as usual, a gaggle of not-long-to-be-in-one-piece youths makes a wrong turn in the Lone Star State. Upon running afoul of the evil Sheriff Hoyt (R. Lee Ermey), the travelers are introduced to young Thomas Hewitt (Andrew Bryniarski), who is being raised in a manner that can only lead him to wearing masks crafted from human flesh and wielding a chainsaw for other than lumber-related purposes. As she runs for her life, Jordana Brewster flashes a bit of butt cleavage. It's a real crack-up amidst all the cutting up that goes on.

Varsity Blues (1999)Blu-Ray
STUDIO: Paramount
NUDE: Bristi Havins (breasts) (Picture), Tonie Perensky (breasts) ()
Football is more than a game. It is a form of war where most combatants survive intact. It can be a ticket to college and can pave the road to riches. It is a preparation for the bigger battles of life at large, forming and testing a boy's character in preparation for manhood. Most important of all, football prowess is an excellent tool in convincing young women to take off their shirts. The MTV-produced Varsity Blues (1999) is a concoction of all the tried-and-true elements of the high-school sports film. The setting is a small town in Texas. The coach is a raging megalomaniac who has lost sight of the sport’s true value. The backup quarterback is precipitously thrust into the starting role. The chicks are hot and willing to take off their shirts.

The Wes Craven Horror Collection Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)
STUDIO: Universal
NUDE: Cathy Tyson (body doublebreasts) (Picture)
Master of horror Wes Craven takes a Haitian vacation in Serpent and the Rainbow (1988) to check out the local zombie terrors. Bill Pullman is a Harvard anthropologist sent to the island by a pharmaceutical company to unearth the voodoo drug that creates the undead. Instead, Pullman gets on the wrong side of the secret police and ends up getting buried alive. Chilling, but it’s not all grim for Pullman. He gets a pull from Cathy Tyson. She’s no relation to Mike Tyson, but her sex scene with Pullman is a TKO!

Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)Blu-Ray
NUDE: Crystal Lowe (breasts) (Picture)
The 2003 hit Wrong Turn depicted what happens when lost teens happen upon a clan of inbred cannibals in the backwoods of West Virginia. Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007) revises that basic idea to display the undoing of reality-TV-show contestants at the hands and (very few, but sharp) teeth of that same brood of cannibalistic yokels. The twist, though, is that the competitors on Ultimate Survivor: Apocalypse, the program-within-the-movie, are hardcore bad-asses who are ready, willing, and more than able to battle back against the hungry mutants. Among the more gung-ho is hothead-of-all-trades Henry Rollins. Vicious, violent, and a perfect place to catch an eyeful of lovely Crystal Lowe’s topless high-beams, Wrong Turn 2 is a righteous turn-on.