May (2002)

Morbid, black-clad moper chicks may seem as though they are simply harmless adolescents enduring a difficult phase in socialization, but after a viewing of May (2002), the prudent male will never again let his guard down in the presence of a girl who is partial to black lipstick. Not only does she buttress her proclivities for a dire world view by working in a veterinarian’s office, but the titular Goth reject of May resides in a fantasy world where her best friend is a doll. The torpid anti-temptress breaks out of her fugue state long enough to indulge in a bit of lesbo-curious canoodling, but her true passions are aroused by collecting body parts from various males in order to cobble together an ideal guy. A word to the wise: Don’t pick up May unless you have some pieces to spare.