Guinevere (1999)

Any old man would give his left graying nut to get nookie from young beauty Sarah Polley. That, in a nutshell, is the plot of Guinevere (1999). The directorial debut of the late George of the Jungle (1997), The Game Plan (2007), and Abominable (2019) scribe Audrey Wells, this one ditches the kid stuff for a melancholy tale of love that can't last. Harper (Sarah Polley) is an insecure girl about to go to Harvard Law School almost exclusively because that's what her rich parents want her to do. At her sister's wedding, she meets the bit beyond middle aged photog hired to capture the moment, Connor Fitzpatrick (Stephen Rea). Soon enough they're boning, but he's also mentoring her on photography and life. But this is not Connor's first foray with a much younger woman. He does it a lot, and calls them all "Guinevere." Obviously, their relationship can't continue forever, but maybe both will get enough out of the relationship that it will all be worth it. She gets to learn about philosophy, literature, photography, and life in general, while he gets a new Guinevere to gargle on his wrinkly balls, as he constantly gets laid. Fair trade! Considering the shutterbug is a cradle robbing pervert, it's not a shocker that there are several images of naked body parts flashed in photographs. In the most titillating, tit filled snapshot, Sarah shows off her massive mams in arty black-and-white with Grace Una and Sandra Oh flashing the girls alongside her. Jasmine Guy is in the picture, too, but she uses her arm to cover her lady lumps. Sarah also pops a tit out when running down the hall in a towel, but the highlight of the movie is really that artsy pic that'll harden your dick. If artsy photography really leads to this much fornication, we'll buy a new camera today! Look for a wrinkled old Mr. Skin smiling from ear to ear with his brand new Guinevere!