Cleopatra (1999)

Cleopatra (1999) was so nice she had to be produced twice, or many times, really. This one was a made-for-TV version about the famed Egyptian queen born in 69 B.C. It stars Leonor Varela as the title character, and Billy Zane as Marc Antony and Timothy Dalton as Caesar rounding out the historic triangle. That triangle is not represented by the geometry of Leonor’s pubic area, sadly, and, in fact, we don’t get to see a lot of anything. She’s just not naked. There we said it. Sorry. Not that it’s our fault. The fault lives not in the stars, but in the draconian censors of broadcast TV. However, Leonor does wear some pretty transparent wardrobes, which give a nice of her pretties.