BloodRayne (2005)

If you've lived through Uwe Boll's decades long reign of terrible video game adaptation terror, it might be hard for you to believe that back when he made BloodRayne (2005), Uwe was using legitimate Hollywood talent both in front of and behind the camera. American Psycho (2000) cowriter Guinevere Turner crafted the screenplay for this cinematic take on the hack and slash game, which counted Billy Zane, Michael Madsen, Michelle Rodriguez, Meat Loaf and even Sir Ben Kingsley among its cast. The Lady Terminator returns, but this time Kristanna Loken isn't coming from the future, but the past. She plays Rayne, a "dhampir" half-human, half-vampire mix whose the daughter of the evil vampire leader Kagan (Ben Kingsley), living in turn of the century Romania. This unique heritage gives her all sorts of powers, so Rayne is soon recruited by a gang of vampire hunters called "The Brimstone Society." Her pops is after some relics that will give him nearly unlimited powers, so it's up to her and her new friends to bring him down. This one was a bomb, which explains why Uwe's budgets got slashed in all his future stuff. But less of a budget means more busty tits, so it's not all bad! Still while not as much as in his later stuff, blood will indeed rain and reign and even rayne, but so, thankfully, does skin. Kristanna takes time off from escaping her tormentor's wooden spikes to open her legs for her lover's fleshy one, which lets us see Rayne's rack. That'll get your blood pumping! She even gets into a catfight with Michelle Rodriguez, but it's not your typical scratch-'em-up. It's underwater and Michelle's low-riders are so waterlogged that you can see her ass crack! Put down the joystick and feel the joy of cracking stick to the hotties in BloodRayne!