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The Lesson

The Lesson (2015)

No Nudity

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Review

The Lesson (2015) is a British horror movie that just may represent every teacher's darkest dream: tying up and torturing the students who are making your life a living Hell. In this case, those students would be fifteen-year-old Fin Tindel (Evan Bendall) and his best bud Joel Whitely (Rory Coltart). Fin and Joel's favorite victim is Mr. Gale (Robert Hands) a mild-mannered English teacher who they like to mess with. After doing stuff like sticking gum in his hair and keying his car with a filthy message, out of nowhere Mr. Gale knocks the two out and ties them to chairs. Terrified, it's not long before they notice all the torture tools lying around and realize that Mr. Gale's going to teach these two a lesson! No, like literally. The man has a nail gun he primarily uses to torture the students, but only if they aren't paying enough attention to his presentation on Charles Dickens, Animal Farm, 1984, and a bunch of other classic high school English class topics. A sort of torture porn twist on something like The Dead Poet's Society (1989), one of the reasons we find out that Fin is so frustrated all the time is that he lives with his brother's Russian girlfriend Mia (Michaela Prchalova). Mr. Skin has learned a powerful Lesson in sexiness after watching Michaela Prchalova walk down the hall toward the pool in a black bikini. She jumps into the pool getting all wet all over. Mr. Skin wants to jump in after her! She then lays out on the lawn in her bikini, letting her beautiful lady lumps soak in the sun to dry off. Michaela could make a bad boy feel very good! Having to spend all day looking, but not touching, a body like that would turn any straight A student into a backed-up bastard of a boy. The Lesson from this one is: if you want to do well in school you need to get yourself a Russian girlfriend.