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Tango & Cash

Tango & Cash (1989)

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It was inspired casting placing Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell, two of filmdom's most macho he-men, together for a manwich of an action movie called Tango & Cash (1989). The two play cops who have to prove their innocence, and in so doing kick a ton of ass. Because, killing a bunch of bad guys is the best way to prove you're not a murderer? Stallone is Ray Tango, a bit of an uptown dandy who looks like he should be working in finance, Russell is Gabe Cash, a street-smart tough guy who likes to fight crime shirtless. They both end up framed by a mobster, which lands them in prison alongside all the guys they've put away over the years. Eventually they escape and have to team up to figure out what's really going on, and to clear their names. Along the way, there are all sorts of wacky gags from a villain who sniffs mice to using a Slinky as a lethal weapon, and even a running joke about Russell "bumping uglies" as the movie likes to say, with Stallone's stripper sister (Teri Hatcher). Sadly, it never happens, and throughout the film Teri's huge hooters remain unhatched. We do get to see Teri onstage doing a bikini striptease, emphasis on the teasing. Still, they're real and they're spectacular! We'd sure love to do the tantric tango with her! But since 80's action flicks weren't about blue balling their fans, there is a shot of Roxanne Kernohan's cans when Teri walks backstage, as well as Christie Mucciante's mams in the same scene. Roxanne's the one in the black panties, Christie's the short haired cutie staring at Cash like she wants him stuffed into her G-string. That's the real money shot in Tango & Cash