Rose Island (2020)

There are a great many things Rose Island (2020) is most unfortunately not. It is not a place where people go to celebrate their love of Rose Byrne. It's not some sort of place where a divided portion of Guns 'n' Roses fandom lives. Most importantly, it is not a sequel to Shutter Island (2010), though I think another equally divided fandom might be relieved to hear as much. No, Rose Island (2020) is a Netflix Original Italian flick starring breakout eye-popping Italian goddess Matilda De Angelis.  In this case, Matilda is the catalyst for the true story of an ambitious young engineer who wants to build a utopian island off the Italian coast after being dumped by the gorgeous Ms. De Angelis! So he builds Rose Island to be a haven from his problems where he can rebuff John Donne's famous supposition by taking it to a literal conclusion, becoming an island unto himself. The film then devolves into your standard schmaltzy fare about the struggle of the idealistic individual against a stodgy government that wants things done according to those pesky rules and regulations. It's not the government's place to tell a man he can't just build an island off the coast if he damn well wants to, amirite? It's a really bummer there's no nudity in this one, especially not from Matilda De Angelis, though the lovely Violetta Zironi tries her damndest to inject some sexuality by showing off some nice cleavage in her bra! You might be sprouting a pleasure island off your southern coast, if you catch our drift!