On the Road (2012)

Jack Kerouac's Beat classichas inspired many things over the years, not the least of which is pretentious college undergrads who assume you'd love nothing more than to listen to them talk about poetry for three hours. Luckily Walter Salles, director of the "they're just now making that?" film adaptation of On the Road (2012), sweetens the pot with celebrity skin from no less than the likes of Alice Braga, who goes topless 32 minutes in when she strips down to her bra and we see bare breasts as she gets boned in bed. Kirsten Dunst and Amy Adams, who are non-nude but expose their undies, and the long-awaited nude debut of Twilight's Kristen Stewart. Kristen first shows us her baby bongos 3 minutes in, then goes on to demonstrate her skiing prowess in a (sadly non-nude) double handy scene 1 hour, 12 minutes in before going topless one more time at the 1-hour, 18-minute mark. If all that's not enough to get you off, just take a long and lustful look at Kaniehtiio Horn, who at the 24-minute mark jumps into bed with two dudes for a threesome. Her tits already out and ready to be played with. We only get to see them for a mere 16 seconds, but there's always the pause and rewind button! On the Road will most definitely put you on the path to taking off your pants and finding a bottle of lube. Looks like the Beat Generation just turned into the Beat-Off Generation!