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Machete Kills

Machete Kills (2013)

No Nudity

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Judging by Desperado (1995), From Dusk till Dawn (1996) and Sin City (2005), it’s clear no one delivers cinematic killing and killer babes quite like Robert Rodriguez. And just when the carnage seemed like it couldn’t be more intense in Machete (2010), Rodriguez’s R-rated sequel Machete Kills (2013) amps up the blood and guts as well as the cleavage! Of course, we’ve been waiting with masturbated breath for the third Machete movie. For now, former federal agent Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) returns to action when the President of the U.S. (Charlie Sheen) recruits him to take down arms dealer Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), a maniacal billionaire hellbent on spreading war and anarchy across the planet. But before Machete can get to his evil target, he must battle a bevy of alluring assassins. In fact, the entire movie is peppered with exotic beauties including Jessica Alba, Vanessa Hudgens, and a bra-busting Alex Vega! Not to be upstaged, blonde hottie Amber Heard displays her deep cleavage. The same can be said of sexy brunette Michelle Rodriguez. Breast of all, the huge boobs on Sofía Vergara can barely be contained in her skimpy getups. In other words, Ms. Vergara’s cups runneth over! If that’s not arousing enough, Lady Gaga struts her stuff in white lace lingerie, including an old school brassiere and satin skivvies! Too bad she was nominated for a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Supporting Actress. If it were up to Mr. Skin, he’d give the scantily-clad singer the golden banana in his pants!