We're as patriotic as the next guy, but when the girls break out the flag and skin we're saluting the hard pole in our pants.
A star-spangled bikini on Heather Hemmens in Hellcats (2010) as she is surrounded by fireworks gets us worked up. Erica Durance in Smallville (2001) strips down to red, white and blue undies and you'll be in Largeville. Jaime Pressly in DOA (2006) will make you stand at attention in her American bikini, coming out of the ocean for a sweaty workout. Caprice Bourret in The Surreal Life (2003) is a stripping Statue of Liberty. We'll give her our sperm immigrants. Cameron Diaz in The Sweetest Thing (2002) grabs her boobs and remembers they as young ones, or twos. Rex Reed watches Raquel Welch in Myra Breckinridge (1970) cornhole a bound man with his pants down while wearing an American outfit that shows off her patriotic pair. We'd vote for Linda Lovelace in Linda Lovelace for President (1975), especially with a platform like that...topless. Marilyn Joi in The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington (1977) is a black beauty who whips a man in a uniform. Glori-Anne Gilbert in Treasure Hunt! (2003) is a treasure in her American bikini. Natasha Richardson and Charlize Theron in Waking Up in Reno (2002) are drinking and swimming. That's going to end well, in our pants. A black man is fucking Debbie Rochon in Nowhere Man (2005) from behind. Now that's somewhere, man, somewhere we want to be. That's America. The land of the orgasm.
American woman, stay with me!