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The Ward

The Ward (2010)

No Nudity

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After almost a decade away from filmmaking, horror master John Carpenter returned to the director's chair with his haunted mental asylum flick The Ward (2011). Then, he headed home to play video games and hasn't made a movie since. After Ghosts of Mars (2001) was critically derided, John didn't make a movie until he opted to adapt a script from Michael and Shawn Rasmussen, who would go on to make the killer alligator move Crawl (2019), though by his own admission Carpenter was just too old to do the music like he used to. In the film, Amber Heard stars as Kristen, a swinging sixties sex kitten who wakes up next to a burning farmhouse in rural Oregon with no memory of who or where she is. Naturally, the authorities assume she lit the match and pack her off to the funny farm, where she is put in a ward with the similarly unstable Iris (Lyndsy Fonesca), Sarah (Danielle Panabaker), Emily (Marine Gummer) and Zoey (Laura Leigh). The girls say the ghost of Alice, a former patient, haunts the ward, but the doctors and staff dismiss the sightings as hallucinations. But when the residents of the ward start dying in mysterious ways, everyone must consider the possibility that Alice is real. You can probably guess who Alice ends up being, given that it's a pretty common new gal at the loony bin plot twist. Plus, it's not all that hard to imagine Amber Heard as a violent, angry psychopath, now is it? She was crazy hot back in 2011 though, especially when she was stripped to her underwear at the beginning of the film. That'll have you strait-jacking it! But Amber never gets around to losing the granny panties- and that drives Mr. Skin insane! We also get a decent upskirt shot when she's going nutty fighting off the cops trying to arrest her. Sex with her would be so mindblowing you'll lose your mind imagining it! After all, she doesn't even get naked and those scenes in The Ward had us stiff as a board!