The Square (2008)

The sexy and stylish neo-noir The Square made quite a splash in the land down under, scooping up scores of accolades from the Australian Critics Association and The Sydney Film Festival. The crime film centers around Carla (Claire van der Boom) and Raymond (David Roberts), two star-crossed lovers who both happen to be married to other people, in fact Carla’s unsuspecting spouse is domineering gangster Greg “Smithy” Smith (Anthony Hayes). Hooking up in secret, this sultry and seductive slice of cinema hits the ground running, but it’s when Carla’s Mafioso mate comes home with a bag of bloody money that things really start to heat up. Suddenly their long held plans of running away together seem dangerously plausible, but as we know, no plan ever comes to fruition without a few bumps in the road. They say you can’t put a square peg into a round hole, but you’ll be wanting to try when you see van der Boom’s steamy car sex scene that makes the Titanic car sex look like a frigid ice-bath. The only bath you’ll see in The Square is the hot and sensual soak enjoyed by van der Boom, with an unfortunately opaque barrage of bubbles, but you can’t win them all.  Down Periscope!