Our Staff Picks column takes you back to a time when video stores reigned supreme and the "Staff Picks" section was the place to find out what films were worthy of one's time. Of course, our version of Staff Picks has a decidedly skintillating angle, as we suss out which films from a particular subgenre are the best to find great nudity. This week let's cover one of the hottest eras in modern movie-making: 2000s teen movies.
The early 2000s saw an inundation of teen movies - not just teen sex movies, but plenty of movies that were targeted at teens. From raunchy comedies, gritty dramas, tender romances, and cool sports movies it felt like Hollywood only cared about teenagers in the 2000s.
The early 2000s is getting a comeback right now with Gen Z (the next generation, in case you've been living under a rock) romanticizing the fashion, music, and pop culture of the 2000s (#FreeBritney). Full disclosure: I was a teen in the 2000s, so I was the audience for these movies. I might be something of an expert as a result!
The good thing about these teen movies is that most of them did not star real teens which meant that we were free ogle these hot actresses in their 20s who took off their clothes as they pretended to attend high school. Here are my picks for the hottest 2000s teen movies:
Blue Crush
Michelle Rodriguez followed up her totally badass role in Girl Fight by playing a cool surfer chick in 2002's Blue Crush. This was definitely a wise choice for Michelle because it was still a sporty part to play, but it showcased her softer side. It also showed off her cleavage a lot more. Michelle is joined by Kate Bosworth and Sanoe Lake as a trio of surfer babes who hit the waves.
The highlight of the film is when Kate Bosworth takes a shower. We get to see her sideboob and a little bit of buttcrack as she washes the sea salt off of her surfer body.
Thirteen
Woof. That's the first emotion that comes to mind when I think about the harrowing Catherine Hardwicke drama Thirteen. This semi-autobiographical story from Catherine Hardwicke and real 13-year-old writer and actress Nikki Reed also works as a cautionary tale about teens gone wild.
Evan Rachel Wood plays Holly Hunter's daughter who gets increasingly out of control when she meets a new friend who takes her down a path of sex and drugs. Evan and Nikki are REAL teens in the movie and that kind of authenticity adds to the real horror of the film. You really feel for these young girls and you want to stop them from ruining their lives!
Luckily, Holly is the adult in the movie and she goes nude! She takes a shower and then sits on her bed naked, trying to figure out what to do about her daughter. Keep thinkin', Holly. We love her thinkers pose.
Final Destination
One of the best horror franchises of the 2000s is absolutely Final Destination. There was no nudity in the first film, but the second film had an iconic boob flash scene on the highway....that gets followed up by one of the second most horrifying deaths in the series.
The first most horrifying death is in the third film and it also features HOT nudity. You know it. I don't even have to say. It's the tanning booth scene. Tanning was all the rage in the 2000s and let me tell you: I have never set foot in a tanning booth because of this movie!
In case you did not see this movie, Chelan Simmons and Crystal Lowe briefly appear as hot girls who are going to get a tan, but they get trapped in the tanning booths. Before they burn to a crisp, we get to see them each topless. Final Destination, how could you kill these beauties?! That just goes to show how unrelenting this horror franchise really was.
Bring It On
It was the cheerleader movie to define all cheerleading movies. Kirsten Dunst stars as the blond beauty on a champion cheer squad. She befriends the new girl played by Eliza Dushku who takes their squad to the next level because Eliza points out that the former cheer squad leader was stealing cheers from Black high school East Compton High, led by Gabrielle Union. Yeah, ALL of these sexy young women were dancing in short skirts in this movie.
This is another 2000s film that is still widely quoted. You'll want to give a spirit finger to the babes in this movie. They don't go nude, but they are VERY seductive.
Who could forget the sexy carwash scene?
EuroTrip
EuroTrip is a pervy teen's delight. American teen boys travel through Europe and meet a bevy of babes that take off their clothes because things are just different in Europe! While star Michelle Trachtenberg does not go nude, pretty much every other actress of the female persuasion does.
Molly Schade is topless in a hot tub, showing off her big breasts. She is convinced to rub her nipples after a guy pranks her and tells her to rub a smudge off of her perfectly round breast. She licks her fingers and tries to get the mysterious smudge off that she can't even see because her boobs are so big. That prank wound up being for our amusement!
One of the hottest parts by far is when French characters Edita Deveroux and Petra Tomankova are topless on a beach, commenting on a beautiful statue that they are hanging out near. Edita massages Petra's shoulders and then the girls decide to makeout. Um, is this real life?!
Scary Movie
It was the parody movie to beat all parody movies: Scary Movie.
What's so interesting about Scary Movie - a movie that primarily makes fun of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer - is that Scream itself was kind of a parody. Keenen Ivory Wayans decided that it wasn't making enough fun of horror movies, so he took everything to the next level when these teenagers find themselves in a mess of trouble after a hit-and-run.
Anna Faris is HILARIOUS in this movie and her body double sex scene is just as funny. She is joined by Carmen Electra and Shannon Elizabeth who do not go nude, but they do look REALLY hot in their busty tops.
Carmen Electra prays homage to Drew Barrymore's chase scene in Scream by getting chased in her white lingerie. Then sprinklers go off, spraying water all of her white lingerie and she actually feels herself in the moment. It's really funny and it's SUPER hot. That serial killer was probably sporting a boner under that black cloak!
Mean Girls
A 2000s roundup of teen movies would not be complete without Mean Girls. I would argue that Mean Girls is one of the top five most influential movies of the 2000s.
It regularly gets quoted and memed to this day from "get in loser" to "you can't sit with us" to "burn books" to "I'm a cool mom" to "on Wednesdays we wear pink" and so much more. I could go on about this Tina Fey film that still has me laughing. It also helps that the young Lindsay Lohan is her absolute hottest in the movie.
But she's actually outdone by Rachel McAdams who is super sexy as the ultimate Mean Girl, Regina George. Regina George is one of the most memorable movie villains of this era and it's only helped that she is so gorgeous in her sexy Halloween costume.
Plus, Skin favorite Amanda Seyfried is absolutely hysterical as the dumb blonde sidekick who thinks she can predict the weather based on her nipples.
Not Another Teen Movie
Finally, in the era of teen movies, it is only fitting to end on a teen movie parody. Not Another Teen Movie followed the same vein as Scary Movie by skewering popular movies of the day. This 2001 film was making fun of the teen sex comedies that started to come out in the late 90s like American Pie.
Jaime Pressly plays the queen bee popular bitchy girl in the movie. You'd think she was doing a dead-on Regina George impression, but this movie actually came first. She's definitely drawing inspiration from 90s teen movies like Jawbreaker, Cruel Intentions, and Wild Things to bring this sinister sexpot to life.
Cerina Vincent will break your funny bone AND give you a boner as the French foreign exchange student who never wears clothes because she is European. It's a really funny joke that they carry throughout the movie. Her character is even named Areola.
Watch this music scene that is both funny and sexy. Grease who?:
