It should be illegal to be as blonde as Jessica Cauffiel. Of course, who could be so heartless as to outlaw sunshine-bright cascades of soft yellow hair; playful and teasing smiles that create cute and crippling dimples; a tanned, perfectly toasted complexion that is even and smooth over every inch of her skin (you just know it is without even seeing it all); those heart-piercing eyes of yellow-green; and a body that makes grown men forget how to breath. Yes, it would be going too far to legislate Jessica Cauffiel out of existence. Such a notion is beyond the realm of logic, too crazy even to be considered as a plot point in Legally Blonde (2001), a movie that Jessica stole portions of from star Reese Witherspoon. Surely Cauffiel should come with some form of warning label. CAUTION: PREPARE TO BE SMITTEN.