V/H/S (2012)

A crew of small-time criminals finds a treasure trove of terrifying tapes in the horror anthology V/H/S (2012). An anthology of found footage horror shorts with a singular scary narrative running through all of them, tons of future big name directors did some stuff for this one, including X (2022) director Ti West, mumblecore master Joe Swanberg, and the man behind Godzilla vs. Kong (2021), Adam Wingard. In the film, four crime committing misfits are hired by a mysterious stranger to seek out the titular VHS tape with the instructions “you’ll know it when you see it”. But when they arrive at the remote, ramshackle location, they find a dead body surrounded by stacks and stacks of tapes. As they begin watching the videos, the recordings become more and more terrifying. From some horny dudes who accidentally bring home a succubus looking to suck their blood not their boners, a man on his honeymoon realizing his wife's looking to off him not get him off, and a woman having an alien's baby, all the way to some fellas who end up trying to save a girl from a cult's exorcism attempt and seriously regret it later, no tape isn't full of horrific tales of terror. Whether you use an old video tape, DVD or streaming, your TV will be steaming thanks to the plethora of hotties in this one. We see oodles of terrified tatas in this scream-queen showcase, but unfortunately Sophia Takal is wearing a bra while she indulges in a lesbo makeout with Kate Lyn Sheil. Our wedding tackle did not appreciate that, Miss Takal! Luckily, Hannah Fierman flashes full furburger and funbags while transforming into a monster after riding on top of a horny man, and Helen Rogers strips down to her bra and shows her boobs to a dude via webcam. But the best shot in the movie comes from Liz Harvey, who also shows her huge hangers for a dude on a webcam, but her bust is even bigger! Those are amazing tits! We're supposed to be scared, but a stack of V/H/S tapes of stacked women flashing their funbags sounds like a good time to us!