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The Frozen Ground

The Frozen Ground (2013)

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Review

The serial-killer drama The Frozen Ground (2012) features three big-name celebrities all doing what they do best. For Nicholas Cage, it's building on the "cop on the edge" persona he developed in Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009) to play Jack Halcombe, an Alaska state trooper hunting a serial killer. For John Cusack, it's subverting his usual nice-guy image to play real-life mass murderer Robert Christian Hansen. For Vanessa Hudgens, it's answering the fervent prayers of fapping fanboys by slipping lower lip as the stripper who is the target of Hansen's twisted affections. Based off the real-life story of Robert Hansen, a serial killer who enjoyed letting women loose in the Alaskan wilderness and hunting them, the film follows Hudgens' Cindy Paulson as the sole survivor of Hansen's Hellish plot. She's an underage hooker who tells a tale of being abducted by Robert Hansen, who tried to load her into his plane and take her to the middle of nowhere, only for the cops to blow her off since she blows dudes for a living and Robert's believed to be an upstanding family man. At the same time, Jack Halcombe keeps finding dead women's bodies partially devoured by bears and is very concerned with how many women have been disappearing lately. From there, it's a game of cat and mouse between our renegade cop who is one hundred percent certain Hansen is kidnapping these women, and our slick psychopath whose unique style of slaughtering his victims makes things very easy to hide. What's not easy to hide is the raging erection Mr. Skin had watching Vanessa Hudgens' work in this one. The former Disney kid who ended up in a bit of hot water when a nude photo of her leaked on the internet back when she was just a teen, looked amazingly erotic in this cold weather thriller. Not only do we see her and fellow stripper Jodi Lyn O'Keefe looking hot while smoking pot in their busty bikinis backstage, but Vanessa's vag makes a blink and you miss it appearance when she slips some lip while pole dancing in a thong. We're always on the hunt for see you next Tuesday, so that scene was truly amazing to see! That's the freeze frame we keep coming back to The Frozen Ground for!     

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