Our Staff Picks column takes you back to a time when video stores reigned supreme and the "Staff Picks" section was the place to find out what films were worthy of one's time. Of course, our version of Staff Picks has a decidedly skintillating angle, as we suss out which films from a particular subgenre are the best to find great nudity. This Halloween week let's cover underrated horror films.
It feels like every Halloween, people suggest the same horror classics: The Shining, The Exorcist, Scream,The Cabin in the Woods, Psycho, The Ring,The Omen, and even old-school monster movies like Dracula and Frankenstein.
You get what I'm trying to say. We hear about the same movies over and over again, but there are SO many horror films that have fallen between the cracks. Here are my picks for HOT underrated horror films.
Society
1989's Society is a fantastic horror film by Brian Yuzna that skewers high society. A young man named Billy warlock (suspicious name alert) is a high school athlete who struggles to fit in with his upper-crust friends and family. He finds out why very soon! He is about to have a birthday and be welcomed into "society" as a real man. It turns out that society is actually a bunch of sinister, body-switching aliens who want to use Billy. Uh oh!
Billy may not be getting on in school, but he pulls some seriously hot tail. He and Devin DeVasquez have a hot and horny sex scene that shows Devin's peaks as she glistens with sweat, presumably from a mixture of their hot passion and her 80s perm.
This scary shower scene from Patrice Jennings is one of the most memorable and mamorable in the movie:
Possession
I'm putting 1981's Possession on the list because I never see it ranked among the best-of-the-best despite the fact that nearly every horror fan agrees on its merit. A woman asks her hubby for a divorce and he starts to suspect that something is wrong with her. This can't be his wife...she must be...possessed! Look, breakups are hard. Who hasn't wanted to blame heartbreak on demonic possession?
Isabelle Adjani plays the wife who goes topless a few times. It's basically a metaphor for divorce, but every good horror film is essentially a metaphor and this is a really well-done possession film.
The Funhouse
Ever feel uneasy at a carnival? Then The Funhouse is the movie for you. A group of teens goes to the carnival to spend the night in The Funhouse. Big mistake, huge. When they are on the last ride of the night, they witness a murder by a man in a Frankenstein mask. It is now up to them to escape and survive before the killer (or killers?) in The Funhouse come after them.
Tobe Hooper directed this carnie nightmare and delivered a sudsy, steamy shower scene from tits-out Elizabeth Berridge who bares rackage.
Martin
George Romero's take on the vampire is unique in this indie horror cult classic. Martin is a teen who is obsessed with the macabre. Martin follows his Goth inklings to Pittsburgh and convinces everyone he meets, and himself, that he is a descendent of the real Count Dracula.
To make this claim seem more real he starts killing people to drink their blood. Is Martin a real vampire? Or just a wannabe? You will have to watch to find out, but Sara Venable shows her suck sacks and bush when she is walked in on in the buff.
Sisters
This Brian de Palma movie feels like Persona with blood to me. It is a 1973 film starring a gorgeous, delicate Margot Kidder as a model who invites a date home with her. In the morning, however, Margot's twin sister arrives and kills her lover.
There is a lot more to the story than this! Margot's character, we find out, was a conjoined twin and her twin died after they were separated. Or did she? Or didn't she? It's a film that will have you thinking one thing, then the other, then back to the other thing until its thrilling climax. You may also climax when Margot shows her breasts near the beginning of the movie, shortly after bringing her victim, er I mean lover, home.
Night of the Comet
This is a sci-fi-horror-comedy that will put a huge smile on your face while you wonder what is going on. A comet comes to town and two sisters find that they are the only humans left. Everyone else has turned into flesh-eating zombies! What exactly happened and can the girls save themselves from becoming zombie food?
That's what makes this film SO exciting. It also helps that Kelli Maroney wears a totally see-thru white bra that shows her big nips.
The Faculty
Everyone is in this movie! Usher, Elijah Wood, Jordana Brewster, Salma Hayek, and even Jon Stewart. A bunch of alien parasites controls the teachers and staff at Harrington High, so it is up to some unlucky students to protect themselves and save the school. That's a lot of responsibilities for these "teens".
You might remember this film from the 90s, but it is not talked about nearly as much as other late 90s horror films which tend to be on the slasher side. Why is that? I'm not sure because The Faculty really isn't bad. It's a fun watch filled with jump scares and beautiful women. Laura Harris totally naked in the locker room as we see the shadows of a tentacled alien is terrifying.
Kwaidan
Japanese horror has quite a reputation. Ring, The Grudge, Audition, Ichii The Killer - all of these films have left haunting impressions in our minds. I think The Audition has one of the most memorable jump scares I've ever seen. So where did Japanese cinema get its horror obsession? How did they become so good at this? To attempt an answer to those questions, I would like to recommend a Japanese classic unknown to most Western audiences: Kwaidan.
Kwaidan means "Ghost Story" and the film itself is actually an anthology collection of four different scary stories. Even though this film comes from the 1960s, it is very creepy. If you would like atmospheric, spooky Japanese ghost stories that illuminate the history of Japanese horror, then Kwaidan is for you. As a bonus, you also get to check out Keiko Kishi's cans. Haunting hooters indeed!
Goodnight Mommy
GOODNIGHT MOMMY IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE. Sorry for screaming, but WOW. Truth be told? I don't think I can even sit through this movie again. It was so hard to watch two boys torture star Susanne Wuest for the entire film, but the fact that I was SO tense throughout the movie means that I have to recommend it.
This Austrian horror film follows a mother who recently had surgery on her face. She comes home with her face bandaged up - already a scary image that reminds one of Eyes Without a Face - and her sons do not recognize her. They are convinced that she is not their actual mother, so they retaliate by inflicting pain on her in some of the worst ways imaginable.
The Love Witch
I need a palate cleanser after remembering Goodnight Mommy. So let's go with one of my absolute favorites: The Love Witch. It is no secret that I love this film, but the secret does not appear to be out about how good it is, so I have to put it on this list.
Anna Biller's sexploitation sendup follows a witch played by Samantha Robinson who is determined to find love...by bewitching men and making them do whatever she wants. However, her love potions make them too needy, so she winds up killing them and moving on to the next.
The movie is not necessarily going to make you jump out of your seat, but fans of the horror genre will appreciate the lush imagery in the movie. From the witchy rituals that show naked women to the witch's tantalizing spells, Anna Biller fills her film with blood-red colors and "sex magic" as star Samantha Robinson plays the sexiest black widow I've ever seen.
