Our Staff Picks column takes you back to a time when video stores reigned supreme and the "Staff Picks" section was the place to find out what films were worthy of one's time. Of course, our version of Staff Picks has a decidedly skintillating angle, as we suss out which films from a particular subgenre are the best to find great nudity. This week let's check out holiday movies!
It's December 1st, so let's get into the spirit with holiday movies. Holiday movies do not typically feature nudity because most of them are intended to be family friendly. However, some of them get a little racier! They should. The holidays have everything from doing what you can to stay warm (wink, wink) to surprising your loved ones with an unwrapped package (another wink, wink) to drunken holiday party hookups (that one is pretty straight-forward).
Reindeer Games
Is this 2000 film actually good good? No, but it is definitely fun to watch. It is an absolutely ridiculous action film in which Ben Affleck is a criminal mastermind who just gets released from prison. Immediately, a gang of criminals want his expertise so that they can rob a casino. Ben's character just wants to go home and eat some pecan pie! I know that because he says that about 50,000 times in the movie.
He doesn't have very much to say when he makes love to Charlize Theron. She also has a hot pool seduction scene where she slowly unwraps her pair. How's that for a Christmas present?
Joyeux Noel
This French film from director Christian Carion may be an unusual choice for a holiday film, but this historical drama literally takes place on Christmas. In fact, this is the film that follows the historic and legendary Christmas Eve of 1941 when soldiers called a truce to celebrate the holiday and play soccer with one another.
It's crazy that this really did happen. It's even crazier that Diane Kruger makes a nude appearance in the movie when she is on her back and being made love to.
White Reindeer
Zach Clark directed this 2013 indie comedy abut a real estate agent played by Anna Margaret Hollyman who loves Christmas. Her hubby is a famous weather man who just got his dream job in Hawaii, so Suzanne wants to go all out before their big move.
Things get CRAZY once she finds her husband murdered one day. She then finds out that he had an entire secret life that she didn't know about, including an affair with a stripper named Fantasia played by Laura Lemar-Goldsborough. The two women actually become friends as they deal with their grief the best ways they know how: cocaine, swingers parties, shoplifting, and drinking. 'Tis the season!
Anna and Laura are hot in the movie, but a special shoutout goes to Lydia Hyslop who wears nothing but a mesh bodysuit in one season. Her breasts will jingle your bells!
All Through the House
Who doesn't love a holiday horror movie? From Black Christmas to Krampus, it's a ton of fun to get scared during all of this holly jolliness going around. The 2015 indie horror All Through the House isn't necessarily innovative when it comes to holiday horror, but it is hot. For that, I have to recommend it.
Johanna Rae stars as a raven-haired hottie who meets her unfortunate end after being naked in her bathroom. Her character got so into the holiday spirit, that she even has a Santa shower curtain. That backdrop feels even scarier when she gets killed moments later.
Black Christmas
Speaking of Black Christmas, let's talk about the 2006 remake. This slasher flick bout a killer wreaking havoc on a girls' dorm during the holiday season is terrifying. The 2006 version might be better than the 1974 original because Crystal Lowe and Karin Konoval both shows some skin. Crystal even shows off her buns and bush when she takes a shower as the terrifying killer spies on her.
Love Actually
Finally, it is time for the hotly debated holiday movie Love Actually. For years now, people love to write articles about how much this movie sucks despite the fact that it was crazy popular during its 2003 release. This romantic comedy from England tells a series of different stories about people finding love and connection during the holiday season. Oh, and there are tits.
Laura Linney has a hot lovemaking scene that people tend to forget about. She makes love to her man while the answering machine interrupts them. At least Linney's lady lumps are out!
The unforgettable role in this movie belongs to Joanna Page. This gorgeous blonde with bangs plays a pornstar who makes casual conversation with her co-star during their day on set. It's downright adorable. It's also super hot to see her breasts bounce in difference positions.
She even gets down on her knees and looks up at her co-star with a smile, pleased to be in blowjob position. She's faking it for the camera which shows us a little bit of behind-the-scenes action. You can watch that spicy moment here:
