By Mr. Skin
Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr. Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases.
Here's the randy round-up for May 6, 2008.
MAY 6, 2008
Alley Dogs (2005)
STUDIO: Peach / Red Dragon
NUDES:Julia Bond (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Jaime Hammer (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Hanna Harper (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Erika Jordan (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Nikki Nova (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1), Cindy Pucci (FFN, butt) (Picture: ), Christine Vinson (FFN, butt) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: In the tradition of Slap Shot (1977) (Picture: 1) and Beer League (2006) (Picture: 1), the raunchy made-for-TV comedy Alley Dogs tells the story of a group of misfit bowlers who are always looking for the next alley on which to make a 7-10 split. There's tons of nudity here from babes like Julia Bond, Hanna Harper, Erika Jordan, Nikki Nova, Cindy Pucci, and Christine Vinson and an appearance by the ubiquitous Ron Jeremy. But don't let that stop you. Alley Dogs will have you polishing your balls like you were in the pro shop!
The Business of Being Born (2007)
STUDIO: New Line Home Video
NUDE:Ricki Lake (breasts, bush)
THE SKINNY: Have you ever wanted to be found facedown in Ricki Lake? The closest most of us will ever come to making that liquid dream come true will be by watching the natural-childbirth documentary The Business of Being Born. Hairspray's original Tracy Turnblatt and long-time titan of afternoon TV talk appears as herself in this study of non-hospital whelping and the women who love it. The climax of this Business occurs when robust Ricki, her nipples mouth-wateringly engorged by the production of mammalian milk, eases back full-frontally nude in a birthing pool, splays her hairy thighs, and enables the Miracle of Life to pass through her saucy canal. How ironic that such a scene will launch the deaths of billions upon billions of spermatozoa. Well, at least they'll go naturally.
Dans Paris (2006)
STUDIO: IFC Films
NUDES:Joana Preiss (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY:Dans Paris means "Inside Paris," but, sadly, neither Paris Hilton nor her insides are anywhere to be seen. Instead, this dramatic import stars Romain Duris as a dude who does nothing but brood since he and his lady went separate ways. He moves in with his brother (Louis Garrel) and old man (Guy Marchand), and together the two do their best to pull him out of his funk. Louis is a true-blue ladykiller, so his tries at getting Romain out and about tend to end up with Louis neck-deep in lady treats while his bro stays home and nurses his ego. And to make matters even more complicated, the boys' chic, sexy mama (Marie-France Pisier) shows up to put yet another dent in the family dynamic.
I Really Hate My Job (2007)
STUDIO: Magnolia
NUDES:Neve Campbell (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1 - 2)
THE SKINNY:Neve Campbell stars in the London-set comedy I Really Hate My Job. She plays a bartender named Abbie in a Soho restaurant, where panic breaks loose when a call comes in that a famous actor will be dropping by for dinner. Among Abbie's co-workers are high-strung hysteric Alice (Shirley Henderson) and brooding philosopher Rita (Oana Pellea). The characters in this warm, charming, insightful, and biting film may really hate their jobs, but you'll really love when Neve gets naked.
I'm Not There (2007)
STUDIO: Weinstein Co.
NUDE:Charlotte Gainsbourg (breasts, butt) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY:Todd Haynes takes on Bob Dylan in the oh-so po-mo bio I'm Not There, which stars a whole host of actors playing different sides of the mysterious Mr. Dylan. Just as the title card says, the flick isn't about Bobby himself so much as "Inspired by the music and many lives" of the man; fittingly, the Bobsey twins in I'm Not There never go by the name "Bob Dylan". Ben Whishaw plays the poet part of Bob, who weaves together the stories of Marcus Carl Franklin and a runaway kid named Woody Guthrie; Christian Bale, a folk singer who's found God; Heath Ledger, an actor playing Christian's character in a film; Cate Blanchett, the Rock God Bob; and Richard Gere, old-man Dylan as Billy the Kid watching the weird Wild West wither and die. Julianne Moore and Michelle Williams also appear, but only Charlotte Gainsbourg shows her gourds while in bed with Heath.
Malas temporadas (2005)
STUDIO: Navarre Corporation
NUDE:Leonor Watling (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: Luscious Spanish lady Leonor Watling stars as Laura in Malas temporadas, which, in English, means "Hard Times." She's a former pop-music star who's confined to a wheelchair after an accident. Her husband, Fabre (Fernando Echevarria), is an immigrant to Spain from Cuba. His best friend Carlos (Eman Xor Ona), also a refugee, peddles contraband Cuban cigars. Laura sleeps with both men. That's how we get to see Leonor naked. Hard times, indeed.
Moola (2007)
STUDIO: Allumination
NUDE:Charlotte Ross (butt)
THE SKINNY:Moola is a fact-based comedy about Steve (William Mapother) and Harry (Daniel Baldwin), whose business is on the brink of financial ruin. The company is called American Nightsticks, and it makes glowing novelties. Just when things look their bleakest, a dream deal comes along, but it may turn out to be too dream-like. Unquestionably dreamy are costars Charlotte Ross, Annabelle Gurwitch, and Jackie Debatin. Babes like that are more tempting than all the moola in the world.
Senior Skip Day (2008)
STUDIO: First Look
NUDES:Jessica Morris (breasts) (Picture: 1), Dita de Leon (breasts) (Picture: 1)
THE SKINNY: The horny high-schooler blow-out Senior Skip Day celebrates the efforts of semi-nerdy almost-graduate Adam (Gary Lundy) to impress Cara (Kayla Ewell), the unrequited object of his lust and affection. Adam's plan is to mount the ultimate booze-powered, babe-packed bash on the momentous occasion of the title with the help of cool (and way-hot) mom Cathleen (Lea Thompson) and jailbird pal Lionel Huffer (Clint Howard). Attempting to thwart our hero's every move is funnyman Larry Miller as Principal Frankfurt Dickwalder. Tara Reid, Norm McDonald, and a couple of nude hotties also turn up in the fray, meaning that you definitely do not want to skip Senior Skip Day.
Teeth (2007)
STUDIO: Roadside Attractions
NUDE:Jess Weixler (breasts)
THE SKINNY: The ferociously witty fright film Teeth brings the myth of "vagina dentata"that is, a female reproductive organ that sprouts bicuspids and incisorsto brilliantly horrific life in indelibly original fashion. Luminous blonde Jess Weixler plays teenage Dawn. She's a committed member of a pro-abstinence group and stepsister of druggy creep Brad (Jon Hensley), who is forever banging away at a succession of bimbos within Dawn's earshot. Trouble brews when Dawn falls for Tobey (Hale Appleman). When his affections explode, Dawn unwittingly teaches Tobey a lethal lesson about manners and learns something decidedly unsettling about the power of her genitals. From there, Teeth becomes a harrowing, gore-soaked, and often riotous cautionary yarn and tale of transformation rendered unforgettably effective by the powerhouse performance by Ms. Weixler. Her topless self-reflection at the one-hour-fourteen-minute mark will prompt a biological response in any healthy male viewerbut you'll want to be very careful about what you do with that thing from there. Teeth has them. 
