Skincoming for November 18 2008

Each Tuesday, be sure to check in with Mr Skin to get the complete skinny right here on the hottest DVD releases. Here is the randy round-up for the week of November 18, 2008.

STUDIO: Warner Bros.
NUDES: Lena Headey (breasts), Kelly Craig (left breast, butt)
THE SKINNY: The blood-soaked, highly stylized international blockbuster 300 chronicles ancient Spartan musclemen numbering in the titular figure as they lay spectacular waste to thousands upon thousands of Persian marauders during the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C. King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) leads Sparta's most buff in their multi-color combat against the armies of King Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro). Based on a graphic novel by comic-book genius Frank Miller, 300 is saved from being an epic sausage fest by a freaky-kinky all-girl orgy, Kelly Craig as the trippy-hot Oracle Girl, and perfect 10 Lena Headey, whose topless shots are heady indeed.

STUDIO: Magnolia
NUDES: Bridget Ellen (left breast, butt), Helen Woo (butt)
THE SKINNY: The raunchy comedy BachelorMan stars David DeLuise as Ted Davis, a single guy who spends his days and nights hooking up with beautiful women and being a hero to his friends. But when he falls for his gorgeous blonde neighbor (Missi Pyle), then quickly breaks up with her to return to his life of casual sex, he finds that all his mojo is gone. There’s a non-nude cameo by softcore starlet Kira Reed, and we get to see skin from Bridget Ellen and Helen Woo. Woo-woo!

STUDIO: Image Entertainment
NUDES: Helen Mirren (FFN, butt, lesbian), Teresa Ann Savoy (FFN, butt), Adriana Asti (FFN, butt), Anneka Di Lorenzo (FFN, butt, lesbian), Lori Wagner (FFN, butt, lesbian), Mirella D’Angelo (FFN, butt), and hundreds of uncredited nude actresses
THE SKINNY: Sir John Gielgud, Helen Mirren, Malcolm McDowell, and Peter O'Toole star in this porn movie about the decadence that was Rome. Yes, porn movie. Written by highbrow scribe Gore Vidal, Caligula tells the real story of the famously insane Roman emperor, complete with come shots, full penetration, spread beavers, slurped schlongs, and lap-liquefying lesbianism. Besides Helen, who loves to show off her funbags, blonde-bushed Teresa Ann Savoyas the emperor's sisterly object of incestuous obsessiongoes full frontal, and Lori Wagner and Anneka Di Lorenzo leave no hole unlicked in their suck-a-thon from the days when Sappho herself might have joined in the fun. Mirella D'Angelo gets it on with McDowell, who then shoves his fist up some greased man butt. That's artand never more artfully presented than in Image Entertainment's multi-DVD Special Edition package (now updated on Blu-ray), which comes with (nearly) as many bonus features as there are no-name extras naked and copulating on screen in the film itself.

STUDIO: Film Movement
NUDES: Marija Skaricic (breasts), Mirjana Karanovic (right breast)
THE SKINNY: The German drama Fraulein stars Mirjana Karanovic as Ruza, a Serbian immigrant whose quiet life is upset when she meets and develops a close friendship with Ana (Marija Skaricic). In the course of events, Marija shows her Slavic sweater swellers getting nailed by a German and Mirjana flashes funbaggage putting on a bra. Das Fraulein ist sehr gut!

STUDIO: Lions Gate
NUDE: Robin Sydney (breasts)
THE SKINNY: Following the interconnected lives of some nave young people desperate to make it in Hollywood, Garden Party stars O.C. babe Willa Holland as a fifteen-year-old girl who takes her clothes off for an Internet porn producer in hopes of becoming famous. She also meets a homeless emo singer and a vampy realtor (Vinessa Shaw) who moonlights as a pot grower and dealer. We get to see the rack of Robin Sydney and a panty-clad lesbian make-out between Fiona Dourif and Shelley Dowdy. You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself to Garden Party.

STUDIO: Ariztical
NUDES: Denise Heller (breasts, thong), Allie Rivenbark (breasts)
THE SKINNY: Helen (Mari Marks) and her daughter Luella (Georgia Jean) are the proprietors of The Sahara Salvation Inn in The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. When half a dozen gay and lesbian couples come into town for the annual Blue Party, Helen decides to convert one of the gays and set him up with her lez-leaning daughter. But first she has to kill whoever gets in her way. Lesbian guests Allie Rivenbark and Denise Heller both bare boobage, but it’s not clear whether or not they give head at breakfast.

NUDES: Kirsti Stubo (FFN, butt), uncredited actresses
THE SKINNY: Ulrigh Thomsen stars in the alternately hot and horrific medical period drama Opium: Diary of a Madwoman. He plays a 1913 insane asylum doctor who discovers that one of his female patients, Gizella, has a brilliant way with the written word, particularly when it comes to detailing the demons inside her. That Gizella is portrayed by frequently naked Norwegian knockout Kirsti Stubo makes her plight all the more heart wrenching . . . and hard rendering. Naturally the good doctor is tempted to take bad advantage of this luscious lunatic. You will be too. Thanks to Kirsti Stubo nude, Opium is absolutely intoxicating.

STUDIO: First Look
NUDE: Audrey Tautou (breasts)
THE SKINNY: The French comedy Priceless, a.k.a. Hors de prix, stars Audrey Tautou as Irne, a conniving gold digger who mistakes a hotel waiter named Jean (Gad Elmaleh) for a wealthy bachelor and seduces him. When she realizes Jean has no money, Irne leaves him and runs away to the Riviera. But Jean, who has fallen in love with Irne, follows her and begins a career as a gigolo to win her back. We think you’ll agree that the sight of Audrey’s tau-tous as she gets out of bed would make hors de prix of all the men who saw it.

NUDE: Carey Mulligan (breasts)
THE SKINNY: Based on the autobiography of British poet Blake Morrison, When Did You Last See Your Father? chronicles Blake’s struggle to deal with his terminally ill physician father’s impending death in light of their past, sometimes difficult, relationship. Along the way, we get to see the rack of Carey Mulligan and the side of Elaine Cassidy’s tits and ass. Elaine, when did you last show your furburger?

STUDIO: Shout Factory
NUDES: Leila Arcieri (bush), Michelle Ruben (butt)
THE SKINNY: For its second season, Howard Stern’s uproarious Baywatch parody Son of the Beach brought even more boner-inducing babes, more itsy-bitsy bikinis, and more belly laughs. The real revelation, however, is a lower lip slip from luscious Leila Arcieri, whose swimsuit bottom falls aside momentarily and provides us with a lighting quick, though still major(a), glimpse of her lickable labia.