An unnecessary remake,a horribly-dated spoof movie, a ski-movie classic,somemiddling thrillers... You guessed it folks, it's late January, when the real leftovers and tax write-offs from the prior year come out to play. Big studios have been trying to gain every penny they can from the least discerning movie-going crowd of the year, and most of the time, it doesn't pay off. Let's see what these six movies have to offer us other than all being released on January 22 in Movie Nudity History!
2016: Rabid Dogs
French-Canadian directorÉric Hannezo remakes Mario Bava's 1974 crime thriller of the same name, with style to spare, leaving one to wonder if the director's timewouldn'thave better been spent on creating something newinstead of rehashing a perfectly good late period Bava flick. Curiously this is his only directorial effort as he is mostly a producer, which means he likely owned the remake rights to this and did it to cash in... or something. Who knows for sure?
French fox Virginie Ledoyen was on the cusp of 40 when she shot this flick and she is ready to greet this new phase in her life with an astonishingly sexy physique...
Even better, she goes briefly nude in bed with some French-Canadian hunk, but it's all artsy and shit...
2016: Mojave
Oscar Isaac and Garrett Hedlund must be old drinking buddies, otherwise I can't account for them both appearing in this movie on the heels of two of the biggest movies of their careers in the prior year. This feels like somebody owed somebody else a favor, and it's early January release datedoes nothing to improve its reputation. God bless Louise Bourgoin for actually showing some skin in this flick, her nipples peeking above the covers in bed, and her thong panties give us a nice look at her ass as she leaves the bed!
1993: Aspen Extreme
One of those decent ski movies—there just weren't many of them—turns 27 today, which isn't too crazy considering how woefully dated nearly everything is in the film, down to Finola Hughes' sexy snow bunny costume...
In great news, she does get undressed and goes skinny dipping in the flick, but the 90s really saw the MPAA crack down on the PG-13 rating, so there's not nearly as much crack as there should be, if you catch my drift...
1993: Hexed
Somebody cue Babs singing of misty watercolored memories because here's a movie I not only remember seeing in theaters as a teenager but one for which I carried the torch for years. I used to say it was a great mix of sex and jokes, but I was thirteen, what did I know? I was stripped of the delusion that it was funny when I rewatched it in college. Some of the sight gags hold up, like RayBaker playing a rich scumbag who jumps into a pool right on top of a gaggle of children using pool toys. That's never not funny.
The rest of it, meh. Apparently writer/director Alan Spencer, creator of Sledge Hammer!, had his budget slashed and the studio marketed the film as a Basic Instinct spoof, which it wasn't. Body of Evidencejust last week was more of a Basic Instinct spoof that Hexed was, but marketing is almost always way off the mark with comedy. The cast saves the film, though, with the late, great Adrienne Shelly playing the true object of hero Arye Gross' affections. It was Normal Fell's final film, and then you've got Claudia Christian who is funny as Hexina, the fake fashion model trying to murder a blackmailer she thinks is Gross.
It's all very convoluted, and while Christian did use a body double for the obvious, close-up nude scenes, her own nipples pop into frame a couple of times while she and Gross have sex...
1993: Knight Moves
Another 1992 holdover, this thriller gets a bit of an edge as its stars, Christopher Lambert and Diane Lane, were nearing the end of their time as man and woman. Unfortunately, this effort is probably not what they hoped to go out on, but what can you do? It's not for their lack of trying, with Diane going topless for a steamy sex scene with lots ofnice shots ofher beautiful breasts...
Diane's not the only only, however, as before she even comes into the picture, Lambert gets to bathe in the beauty of Kehli O'Byrne, who bares boobs and bush...
1982: Vice Squad
Finally, way back in 1982 came this down and dirty crime thriller that was a holdover from the 70s true crime craze, nestled into the early 80s. A murderous pimp (Wings Hauser) is on the loose and the police bring in one of his former girls-turned-successful businesswoman (Season Hubley) to help nab him. There are far worse examples of the genre than this and Wings Hauser is delightfully unhinged here, proving he was always the poor man's Gary Busey.
Season Hubley does show some TA in the flick, getting dressed after getting down...
Plus, future MTV VJ Nina Blackwood shows some nice cleavage as one of Hauser's many victims...
