Conducted by Brian Abrams

In the 1980s, big-screen comedies were gloriously ablaze with crude jokes, cartoonish sight gags, and, most importantly, naked starlets. Few subgenres proved more hospitable to the aforementioned elements than the sports comedy.

Just as sports, in real life, pits the players you cheer for against the players you jeer against, sports movies also must create bigger-than-life, thoroughly buffoonish bad guys for our on-camera underdogs to rise up and conquer.

Four of the most memorable '80s sports-flick anti-heroes recently sat down to share their memories-and a few stories about mammaries-with

Eric Bruskotter is better known as "Big John" in Disney's poker-centric PG-13 romance Can't Buy Me Love (1987). His co-star Patrick Dempsey was busy with a tutor after hours, and Amanda Peterson was only fifteen at the time, but Bruskotter recalls that shooting the movie was a blast. You can now see Bruskotter in episodes of 24 on Fox. He's also married to Starship Troopers (Picture: ) (1997) stunner Tami-Adrian George (Picture: ) .

Scott Colomby, more familiar to the world as goombah golfer Tony D'Annunzio in Caddyshack (1980) (Picture: ) , reminisces on his time spent with Rodney Dangerfield and calls making the classic golf farce "the greatest party of all time." He presently fronts his own blues band.

Matt Mulhern, a.k.a. Teddy Beckersted in One Crazy Summer (1986), isn't anything at all like his obnoxious on-screen yachting-yuppie persona. If only he could say the same for Mark Metcalf, who plays his father in the flick (Metcalf also played iconic asshole Doug Niedermeyer in Animal House (1978) (Picture: ) and the cranky dad in Twisted Sister's best-loved MTV clips). Mulhern lives in upstate New York with his wife, who runs her own business.

Tab Thacker played Finch in the Goldie Hawn high-school-football epic Wildcats (1986) (Picture: ) , alongside Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson. Tab later portrayed House in Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) and Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach (1988) and currently runs his own bail bondsman business in Raleigh, North Carolina. Though the skintastic scene in which topless Goldie soaks in the bathtub was "a closed set" the day of shooting, Thacker still shares memorable anecdotes from the pigskin flick.

Jocks and Yocks:

Hormonally charged young actors letting loose after shooting a movie all day seems to be a recipe for some insane partying. Was that the case with the films on which you guys worked?

Eric Bruskotter: One of the other jocks in Can't Buy Me Love went on to become Rico Suave [Ed. note-that would be 1990s one-hit wonder Gerardo]. We partied a lot at night. When actors get thrown together in a different city, you bond on a deeper level. It's a totally different environment from the studio.

When Rico and I would go out for a night of partying, I used to wear beachwear and he had all this leather stuff on. Funny as shit, but we got along superb. One time when we and a few of the girls were coming back to the hotel, they were in the car next to us flashing their breasts. It was awesome.

Scott Colomby: At night at the motel at the end of the day, you'd leave your door open if you wanted company. We'd all go to the laundry room if you'd want to, you know, "party." So one night, it's about 8 o'clock, Rodney's walking around the motel and pokes his head in my door. "Hey, Scott, you wanna do some laundry?" That happened a few times.

Matt Mulhern: Partying? Yeah, we did our share, but mostly movies like that weren't a huge budget. You're just kind of working. We had fun, but there wasn't, like, incredible debauchery, mostly go out for a few beers and go back to work.

Tab Thacker: The cast and crew didn't go out that much. I went out with the stunt guys, though. While shooting Police Academy 4, we went out to a couple of strip clubs in Canada. David Spade, Bobcat Goldthwait, and I went to the comedy club a lot.

Was there a girl on the set that everyone was in awe of? How about yourself?

Eric Bruskotter: There was this girl named Devin DeVasquez (Picture: ) . She played Iris in the movie. One night she, Rico, and I were kicking back in our motel room. She's like, "You guys wanna see them?"

Dude, she just like pulled up her shirt and whipped out her breasts, and they were the most beautiful things we'd ever seen. Rico literally fell over backwards over his chair. I just had my tongue hanging out like a dog waiting for his food.

Scott Colomby: For me, a lot of Caddyshack (Picture: ) was about Rodney. You have to remember: To star in a big studio movie was a big deal for a comic back then. On the first day of the shoot, comics from all over came out to the set. We were filming way outside the city in some suburb, but all the standup guys wanted to see Rodney act.

It was the scene where Rodney went into the country club with his Asian picture-taking friend, who was actually a friend of one of the National Lampoon writers. In between takes, Rodney was just like sweating. A lot. I went over to him and asked if he was all right. He just couldn't stop shaking.

"They're not laughing. Nobody's laughing. I'm dying up here!"

I calmed him down once I told him that it wasn't like a comedy club and that everyone had to keep quiet while they were filming. He felt a lot better after that.

Matt Mulhern: The girl who played Cookie was absolutely smoking hot, but she was dating Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue. Somewhere there's a great picture of me standing in my costume, my preppy costume, next to Nikki Sixx. He was the coolest guy, just shooting the breeze. But he scared me to death, so I didn't go anywhere near her.

Tab Thacker: Goldie Hawn was cool, but there wasn't anything wild going on. Goldie was with Kurt [Russell] really heavy then. She didn't do anything crazy.

What about young female fans on the set?

Eric Bruskotter: I ended up going out with one of the chicks in the movie for like six months, but you know I met my wife on Starship Troopers. She's probably on She's the black girl in the shower scene. She was like, "Wow, that guy's got a little dick. I like little dicks."

This shower scene was infamous. It kept getting put off. Everybody was nervous about this scene. There were all these nudity contracts: "They can show half my nipple but not my bush." Stuff like that. It got pushed back months. Everyone was waiting for someone to take their clothes off. So [director] Paul Verhoeven takes his clothes off and the cinematographer took his off to get the thing going.

They needed a few more volunteers in the scene. Ah, great, so they picked me, the guy with the little dick. But who cares? I still got the girl!

Tab Thacker: Wesley Snipes had his girl with him and I had mine with me, so we didn't get too much of that action to speak of.

How did your life change once you became recognizable for appearing in a particular movie?

Eric Bruskotter: It all went to my head back then. I thought I was pretty cool. I'd have this cash in my pocket and whip it out. If I saw me now back then, I would cross the street and get away from me as quick as I could. On the CBS series Tour of Duty, I would drink too much and get into fights. I told this cocktail waitress to "get me my water, bitch" and made her cry. The producer had to have a little talk with me.

Matt Mulhern: It didn't happen for me. The whole pointing and recognizing started to happen once you get on TV. When I got Major Dad, I got recognized a lot. Now I'm just a sad married man who traded in my penis for a lawnmower.

Was there anyone in the movie who rubbed you the wrong way?

Eric Bruskotter: Everyone in Can't Buy Me Love was fine. On Cheers, though, George Wendt was a dick to me. Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson were the coolest guys in the world. Kirstie Alley (Picture: ) an idiot. Why? Maybe because she's six-foot-five and 290 pounds? I don't know.

Scott Colomby: Everyone on the set of Caddyshack was just as cool as humanly possible, except for Chevy Chase. He was a prick.

Matt Mulhern: All I will say about Mark Metcalf is, one: He flossed his teeth a lot, and that's never a good sign. Number two: The evil fuck was always walking around telling [John] Cusack, especially Cusack, and anyone that will listen, that this is not going to be anything like Animal House.

Tab Thacker: Wesley Snipes got pretty mad once. One day when we were getting ready to shoot Wildcats, I had the day off. It was a locker-room scene where all the guys got naked. The producer's son rolled back on the van with us the next day. He said, "Tab, I thought black guys had big dicks."

Goldie was laughing because she went around telling everyone Wesley had a little bitty rice dick. I was laughing the whole time. He was pissed, man.

Do fans continue to recognize you now?

Eric Bruskotter: I still get, "Hey you're the farter." Man, I was so self-conscious about that scene in the beginning, like I was the dumb, flatulent idiot. But I was inspired by Howard Stern's act. If he doesn't give a shit, then I don't.

Matt Mulhern: I had a guy come up to me once who said, "You are my hero." I felt sort of sad. It was just like, "I don't know what to say to you, young man, but God bless you."

Frat boys would come up to me and be like, "Hey, man, one night we all stayed up doing crank and watched One Crazy Summer like fourteen times." What do you say to that?

I remember the first night One Crazy Summer came out I went to see it by myself in Manhattan. Me and six people in the theater. I saw it, and I was stunned. This elderly couple was standing next to me and didn't recognize me. The woman said, "That was horrible!" It wasn't until years later that it became a minor cult classic.

Tab Thacker: I can be at a restaurant and people start looking at me and grinning. They finally get the nerve to ask, and I say hey. It doesn't bother me at all. I'm used to that. Believe it or not, I can still get pussy because of that.

Tab, what's up with the bail-bondsman job? You're a big guy. You must scare the shit out of people, right?

Tab Thacker: I don't know about shit, but I've made some people wet their pants before. I had a guy whose girl turned him back in. She gave me the key to his house, and I got into the house, unlocked the door, and was standing over the bed. He woke up and wet his pants. That happened recently. We laughed about it on the way back to the jailhouse.

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