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A Cure for Wellness

A Cure for Wellness (2017)

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Anything named A Cure for Wellness (2016) is bound to be sinister, but if you figure out that the title sounds a whole lot like the word "aquifer", you just might figure out what's going on way before the credits roll. Directed by Gore Verbinski and inspired by a 1924 mystery novel called "The Magic Mountain," the story revolves around a young businessman named Lockhart (Dane DeHaan) who gets tasked with tracking down his company's CEO (Harry Groener) who went missing while on vacation in the Swiss Alps. He travels to an isolated village, then to the top of a giant mountain, where an old castle has been converted into a "wellness" center. Only, of course no one there is well. Dr. Heinrich Volmer (Jason Isaac) runs the place, but seems to be mysteriously making all his patients worse, including the alive but brainwashed CEO. Lockhart breaks his leg in a car crash travelling down the steep road, so he ends up having to stick around while he heals. But while Lockhart's hopping around trying to investigate the place, the CEO honestly believes he is unwell and needs help, and all the other guests are convinced the doc is making them healthy. Lockhart's smart enough to figure out there's something sketchy going on with the water, the weird eels that are everywhere, and the evil doctor's special relationship with young Hannah (Mia Goth). The question is, if he's going to be able to do anything about it. A mountain retreat where we're treated to seeing women like Mia, minus their blouses, sounds like a place we'd be happy to spend some time at. Yes, years before we were dreaming about having sex with the girl from X (2022), Miss Goth had her top off while tied to a bed, bouncing them as she tries to untie herself. Well done Mia! The naughty nurse (Anne Lober) goes topless while a patient jerks off to her boobs too! That's the kind of cure Mr. Skin is into!