If Jayne Mansfield was the B-movie version of Marilyn Monroe, Mamie Van Doren was the DD-movie version of Jayne Mansfield. And that's saying a lot. (And twice, at that!) Mamie's family moved from South Dakota to La-La Land shortly after World War II, and it didn't take long for the then-Joan Olander to snag first prize in the Miss Palm Springs beauty contest. Despite her discovery by breast fetishist Howard Hughes, her career didn't take off the way Jane Russell's did, even with a nice turn in the Doris Day laugher Teacher's Pet (1958). After becoming the spokeswoman for the bullet bra, she was relegated, thankfully, to sleaze classics like The Beat Generation (1959), The Big Operator (1959), and Sex Kittens Go to College (1960). Mamie dropped out of movies after the '60s (at least for a time) but made her presence known by crashing Hollywood socials wearing notoriously outrageous, more-than-revealing outfits. In 1987 she published her memoirs, Playing the Field, a delicious read that detailed her torrid affairs with hundreds of Hollywood stars, from Steve McQueen to, yes, even proto-pansy Rock Hudson. In a cruel twist of fate (or stroke of luck, depending upon whom one asks) Mamie neglected to flash any flesh on film until after the sexual revolution had run its course. Long after. In 2000, at the ripe old age of sixty-nine, Mamie and her mammaries made a memorable appearance on the German television series Liebe Sunde. Then a few years later she flashed her flop doodles again in the college-kid comedy Slackers (2002)--that makes her seventy-one, for those keeping score at home. And yes, they still look magnificent.